Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dead Man Walkingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Keiran
    ASL Info:    20/M/NZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.64 - 40/47/33
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1215



    Description:
       Ok an explanation of this piece. I've been thinking a lot about how Christians should think of themselves. And this is what I've come up with. The idea that we died to self as soon as we accepted Christ, and now we are dead people in the world of the living. We offer death (salvation) to anyone who is willing, although few accept. I also wanted to get across the point, that living every moment for God is not easy, and most Christians never do it. It takes more sacrifice than anything else ever could, but at the end of the day, it's absolutely worth it.

    So yes, it might make a bit more sense now that you've read my explanation.

    ~Keiran~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDead Man Walkingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    “Dead man walking”
    Was their cry
    “They took my father”
    Was the bitter reply

    Shoulders stoop
    Under a stiff burden
    The price of obedience
    Who knew?

    If love is watching someone die
    Then hate is knowing your still alive
    But you made a choice
    Without coercion

    To stop now
    Would be unthinkable

    Humanitie's biggest folly
    Thinking they could get out alive
    There isn't a hope of that happening
    In this red light town

    Cowards try to stay above ground
    While these brave few
    Have already died
    Alien in the lands of Now

    Carrying a big red cross
    They offer euthanasia
    To the masses
    Few accept
    Yellow, the lot

    Living spit on the not
    Dance on their graves
    Deathly forgiveness hugs them right back
    Frightening the daylight out

    Warm love
    Fearful to see
    In the cold glint of frigid eyes
    Makes you wonder

    “Dead man walking”
    Was their cry
    “I go to my father”
    Was the deceased's reply




    Submitted on 2007-07-03 19:40:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      youre talking about some kind of execution?
    i seem to remember on the green mile that when they were rehearsing for the executions someone would shout "dead man walking" or something like that...

    are you also aware that there is a book called forgiving the dead man walking? which was turned into a movie called dead man walking...? im not 100% sure what it was about but somehow i remember something about a lady forgiving the man who raped her or something... im not sure...

    anyways... i guess i have a lot of connotations with the title.


    i think this is a little weird.
    perhaps a little too vague for my liking.

    the start and the end with the bookend idea is kinda cool though it would be so muhc better if i could actually grasp what it is youre saying.

    at the moment im thinking the first mention of the father is someone shrieking when they see the "dead man walking" who killed their father... this is why this man must died...
    the second mention at the end makes me think that the "dead man walking" found Jesus while in prison. it happens more often than not these days... its kinda interesting. theres some guy due to die in the US sometime in july i think for killing his next door neighbours and he is looking to tell a joke before he dies so he can die laughing... he promised it would be a clean joke because hes a christian now...

    i cannot say any more because i cannot find anything more.
    i think maybe you could be a little more... purposeful in this piece...?
    it is hard to find a point of connection.

    BUT DONT UNWEIRD IT!!
    | Posted on 2007-07-04 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah... extremely original... the whole thing. i was shocked and amazed...It's all been said a thousand times. mheh... i dunno.
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by Old | [ Reply to This ]
      Is this religious? I can't tell.


    I liked this. It makes a lot of statements about human nature and death. What I noticed in particular is the point that many people (particularly Christians) look forward to life after death in heaven, but fear death. it's really quite odd when you think about it.

    a few typos......


    and don't apologize for being weird. weird is good....makes life interesting.
    | Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    146047

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry