[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Your Cruel Heartdots

    Author: Khaled AbdAllah
    ASL Info:    22 - male - Egypt
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 129/137/30
    Words: 309
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 996
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1805

       This one is very touching, I think you will all find its idea that easy beacuse it is very clear in the poem. I hope you will all like and pray for me " To have my own son back and my cruel wife ". Despite all she did I still love her.

    It took me about three days to finish from 1/7/2007 to 3/7/2007.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Cruel Heartdots

    Instead of being my sword in this harsh battle of life, you were the dagger that stapped me in the back...
    Instead of taking care of the roses of love;
    Which we planted together, you were the
    one who ruined, made them fade with your
    cruel heart. Instead of being my oars and
    my helpful crew, you were the harsh waves
    that destroyed this mighty ship..

    But no, I'll never surrender or give up; this
    stapped back will be cured so soon. And
    the roses you ruined are no more in need
    for your care; with God willing they'll come
    back to life with their beautiful scents.
    And this weak sailor is no more in need for
    your help; to fix and keep this mighty ship
    alright again, he will be able again to go through this harsh, destructive waves.

    Instead of allowing our small baby to soar
    like a free bird as he should be, you were
    the cage that limited his abilities and prisoned me and him into your metallic cage
    of your so-called dignity...
    But no, I'll be his rescuer and the one who
    give him his own free will; give him the chance that he deserves to soar and sing
    freely with no handcuffs to control him....

    Instead of being that sweet dream of a sincere and loving wife, you were this nightmare that turns my life into hell...
    Instead of being beside me with our own
    son, you were the prison that prevented me
    from this sweet little angel....
    And now let me ask you " Is this what you
    want for our son to be away of me!
    Why do you want to prevent him from my love! why do you want to spoil everything
    in our life!!! "

    Submitted on 2007-07-04 12:20:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is very sad and very real.

    And this weak sailor is no more in need for
    your help; to fix and keep this mighty ship
    alright again, he will be able again to go through this harsh, destructive waves.

    This is a vivid image.

    Nice job.

    I am glad you wrote it, but sorry that you had to live it.

    Love & Light

    | Posted on 2007-08-18 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh dear,

    Hey I like the style of the poem and ofcourse I do understand you. I still believe in what I wrote to you in my Privatt message.

    To the poem it is very sad but yet very good as a piece of art.

    I wish you the very best dear
    with love
    | Posted on 2007-07-05 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]