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Destitute Heart


Author: Suven7
ASL Info:    20 female Fla
Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478 /260 /47
Words: 181
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1072
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1064



Description:


In a one-way relationship, we call the person who gives and gives generous and loving, but what about the person who gets and gets? I believe the latter are capable of reciprocating but are convinced they are destitute at heart.


Destitute Heart



I am destitute
With only this clever,
Offending mouth to my name.
I can’t afford to love
You back,
Yet you love me all the same.

I am bravest when I am fighting for
The coarse terrain that is your heart
And I am weakest when, having conquered
Yours, you fail to do your part.

I am poor
With only this dirty,
Mangy rag on my back.
I can’t afford to be graceful,
Be beautiful,
And I don’t have much tact.

I am loveliest on days when
You assure me that you know
That, though I am stunted in love, I
Am willing to go and grow.

I am broke
With only this brittle,
Rusting penny in my pocket.
I can’t afford this high
Maintenance love
And I would much rather not have it.

I am richest when I have nothing
Else to give or offer
Let my heart be destitute
If it means only one heart suffers.





Submitted on 2007-07-05 15:21:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Also - Is this stanza

I am bravest when I am fighting for
The coarse terrain that is your heart
And I am weakest when, having conquered
Yours, you fail to do your part.

From your eyes or the other person's?

Love, Andy
| Posted on 2007-07-05 00:00:00 | by Olah89 | [ Reply to This ]
  <cuddle>
"I can't afford to love you back, yet you love me all the same." - The latter will always be true.

However this stanza didn't make sense to me:
I am poor
With only this dirty,
Mangy rag on my back.
I can’t afford to be graceful,
Be beautiful,
And I don’t have much tact.
Yes, the first part is correct, but the later is absurdly untrue. You're extremely beautiful both in personality and appearance.

This part,
And I would much rather not have it.
scares me. Your love is all that I ever need. I do the things I do purely because I love to see you happy. Perhaps it is sadder I must use those things as a means of expressing my love for you. My intent was not for you to feel obligated, but completely loved, and full of it.

It's inspiring enough that you care, that you wish unselfishly that you could give more. But you don't have to. I'll love you all the same. :)

Yours, Andy
| Posted on 2007-07-05 00:00:00 | by Olah89 | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem must have been the most inspiring poems you've ever written or one of the most that left many thoughts in my head.

Your first stanza was awesome because the rhymes just kinda fitted together and it didn't sound force.
The part where you say you're poor and that you can't afford love reminded me of this: "I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention".
But the way you wrote, "I can’t afford to love
You back,
Yet you love me all the same. " was pretty sweet "because it shows that even though you're sooo poor and can't afford love, he still loves you back.

The second stanza was one of my favorite. It's pretty deep ate. I don't know what to say, it totally moved me. The whole, you're brave when you're trying to win him and you're weak when he doesn't do the same is something people can relate to.

The third stanza is totally true!! You're rarely beautiful but it sounded like you tried really hard to sound poor...cuz you're not that poor.

That, though I am stunted in love, I
Am willing to go and grow." You should change this one cuz it sounds a little forced.
But not major.

The last 2 stanzas made complete sense. How do they say it? It's come to a full circle? It wrapped up the whole poem.

"I am richest when I have nothing
Else to give or offer
Let my heart be destitute
If it means only one heart suffers." This is amazing....the last line is a heart breaker but it's pretty unselfish [although in real life it's never like that].

This poem is so awesome!! You have to write more love poems cuz that's what I like to read!! Good job Suven!

--Fearless




| Posted on 2007-07-05 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]


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