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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beauty In The Breakingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BrokenAngelKat
    ASL Info:    20-F-NC
    Elite Ratio:    1.67 - 103/233/192
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 712



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeauty In The Breakingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can almost hear the sorrowful violin begin to play..
    But I wont cry.
    Not today.
    I'm watching from the outside,
    As my life unfolds.
    As my story begins to be told.
    But sometimes I cant handle it.
    I want to quit.
    Against my request..
    My pain can manifest...

    But I can also smile.
    I can also laugh.
    I can be me..
    Not as much as I want to be.
    But I can.

    There is beauty in the breaking of the heart.
    Like a violin solo..
    It has it's violent moments..
    Then quells to a decrescendo.

    Beauty in the breaking no more..
    Now a heart for the taking.




    Submitted on 2007-07-05 15:57:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i understand what you were going for, and that it was a serious poem, but, i'm going to be honest, i have trouble taking it seriously, and i think others may, as well, because your pic is the playboy bunny. sorry, the poem wasn't bad, it's just...like i said, this is the first of yours i've read, because i can't take you seriously. it's a bit of a joke really...
    | Posted on 2007-07-06 00:00:00 | by freddybuzzkill | [ Reply to This ]
      musical.... It is good. for the sake of criticism, I may suggest more attention to syllables in some of your work. It will give it a better flow and make your poems seem better (they don't need to be better. they're awesome) but they will be easier to read and therefore, less problematic to the reader.
    | Posted on 2007-07-05 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]


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