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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Fall and the War of the Ancientsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lord Bane
    ASL Info:    24/M/Isle of Wight, UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 40/81/50
    Words: 721
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 598
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4158



    Description:
       Since I'm gonna wait for my creative writing course to even try and start writing the full story, I thought I would fill in the back story to my book. If you want to read parts of the main story, they are: The Warplord Saga - The Prologue, The Truth Revealed and A Difficult Choice. If people like this bit of back story, I will reveal more. Please comment, I hope you enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Fall and the War of the Ancientsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    While the events which lead to the Warplord Saga happened within the 21st Century, its origins begin long before humanity existed. Once, long before any other race existed, there was a race called the Ancients. Humanoid in appearance, they lived an almost perfect life, with little knowledge of evil. However, this would end in a terrible fashion.
    It was discovered that the race was beginning to die, with no apparent explanation. Whether it was fate, evolution, or some other cause, the Ancient's leaders were worried. A meeting was called to decide the course of action to be taken, but no agreement could be reached. So, the hunt began for a way of halting the disaster.
    One of their leaders was drawn to a mysterious world known as Sarn Gebir, finding a previously unknown entity who claimed he had a way of granting them immortality. He had a simple request: Bring the universe under his control, and he would give him the key to life itself. So desperate was this Ancient to save his kind, that he fell for the trick and agreed to do his bidding.
    He began the process of cloning an immense demonic army, that would be used to conquer the Ancients, lead by his own servant, Bane.
    The plan worked perfectly, the Ancients were attacked before they could ready their defences, and so began The War of the Ancients.
    The demonic horde seemed unstoppable, Bane's tactical mastery ensuring they found a way round every defence. All seemed lost till the horde attacked a world uninhabited but for a small force of warrior monks hidden in a fortress. As the fortress was under siege, one of the monks, who would later become known as the True Chosen One, took the Sword of Ages, a weapon hidden within the bowels of the castle, and marched out to make a last stand.
    However, his arrival swung the battle. Within a matter of hours the horde was fleeing from the world, and he arrived at the Ancients homeworld a hero. He offered them one thing they hadn't had before: hope. Now the war was more even, but was grinding down to a stalemate. Evetually, with both sides weakened by the fighting, it was decided that there would be one final battle on a neutral world: Sarn Gebir. It would be winner takes all, whichever side lost would be too weak to defeat their opponents.
    The armies arrived on the planet and joined battle with each other. The two leaders, Bane and the Chosen One, fought their way through to face each other. So began one of the most epic psychic battles ever witnessed. Their powers and weapon skills seemingly equal, they both launched one final blast in an attempt to end it once and for all....
    When the smoke cleared, the battle was over. Bane lay dead, and the Chosen One was mortally wounded. As the demons fled, the Ancients had one, but at a terrible cost. If they were'nt dying out before, they were now.
    The Aftermath (effects on the main story):
    While the Chosen One had died that day, it was not the last time he would be seen in the universe, and the Ancients had been granted immortality of sorts. A handful discovered they had gained a longer lifespan and greater powers, becoming the Soothsayers (a race who could see the future) and the Great Ones (who became the universe's last line of defence). They sealed the gates of hell shut in the hope that the demons would never return.
    The forces of darkness were not beaten though. The demons who were cloned found no acceptance within hell, so formed an Empire within the few galaxies they still controlled, which became known as the Demonic Realms. Bane's body may have died, but his spirit survived, cursed to stalk the spirit world till someone brought him back to life.
    As for his master? He vanished, his fate unknown to his own kin. Hated for destroying his own kind, he was welcomed by the entity who he had served: Satan himself. Made into a fully fledged demon prince, and newly dubbed as The Precursor for creating the demons, he waited for his full powers to return. Unknown to any race in the universe, this war wasn't over....not by a long way.....




    Submitted on 2007-07-07 05:49:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      While the events which lead to the Warplord Saga happened within the 21st Century, its origins begin long before humanity existed. Once, long before any other race existed, there was a race called the Ancients.

    i hardly ever have any kind of editing to point out to you when i read, but i couldn't let this go. you repeated long before twice and existed twice....and it doesn't sound good at all. perhaps...

    While the events which lead to the Warplord Saga happened within the 21st Century, it originated long before humanity existed with a race going as far back as Creation named, the Ancients.

    i know that is a rough edit but...i'm sure you can see what i mean when i say it should be changed. i'll leave the final editing up to the author ^_^


    One of their leaders was drawn to a mysterious world known as Sarn Gebir, finding a previously unknown entity who claimed he had a way of granting them immortality. He had a simple request: Bring the universe under his control, and he would give him the key to life itself. So desperate was this Ancient to save his kind, that he fell for the trick and agreed to do his bidding.
    He began the process of cloning an immense demonic army, that would be used to conquer the Ancients, lead by his own servant, Bane.

    right there it is a bit confusing....well for me, having read all the other parts prior to this, know that you are talking of the devil. but everyone else really reading this and commenting on it, which i see no one has done, maybe they have in pms...anyway, for everyone else it is confusing. you repeat "he" and "his" and "him" too much. and since there are two people in this particular part that you are writing, names could help to clarify. just a tiny suggestion.

    question: why would bane agree to help the devil take over the whole universe if he is trying to preserve his race from death? it seems to me like having a demonic war against his own kind would make them die quicker, not give them the key to everlasting life.

    As the demons fled, the Ancients had one, but at a terrible cost.

    the Ancients had *won*

    If they were'nt dying out before, they were now.

    If they *weren't*

    ok so i learn after reading the whole thing that the evil man from the beginning is not the devil himself? if so, how did he make DEMONIC clones? he captured a demon and cloned it?? perhaps i need to read more into it, but if you could pm me anything that isn't on here, i will try to make sense.

    i still love the story, but it is getting steadily more cloudy with each piece i read. perhaps that's why i love it so much.

    ~krys~
    | Posted on 2008-07-25 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]
      Or, how to sell an endless stream of sequels! Remember, good art also helps to sell books.
    | Posted on 2007-11-06 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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