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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: cuts of tomorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 448
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 968



    Description:
       can one of you guys help me figure out a title for this??? please???


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscuts of tomorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    drowning in the past
    and the mistakes of my decisions
    reaching for the blade
    so i can make my last incision
    watching blood flow out
    of these cuts upon my soul
    longing for the future
    and a past that once was whole
    living for tomorrow
    because i cant live for today
    wishing there was something
    to make this feeling go away
    doing all i can
    to make the world right for you
    trying to always be there
    because thats what you used to do
    trying not to worry
    about how your life is now
    still not understanding
    all the Who's and What's and How's
    trusting your mistakes
    to work themselves out in the end
    so when we're happy together
    there is nothing to pretend
    drying my eyes from pain
    because you told me to be strong
    doing everything you say
    because perfect is not wrong




    Submitted on 2007-07-07 10:39:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      i hate it when people say this is emo

    i hate stereotypes
    but i love the poem

    its like u got into my mind too
    i can relate more than u think and
    i can say i know how u feel


    ''drying my eyes from pain
    because you told me to be strong
    doing everything you say
    because perfect is not wrong''

    i think its a great ending..it just kind of wraps everything up..

    i think my favorite part of this whole poem is lines 1-8
    i relate there the most......


    stay strong and keep striving for what u want
    the most in life coz i realized that if you let the bad things in life stop you in your path you will never move forward


    <3
    truthbetold


    | Posted on 2007-08-25 00:00:00 | by truthbetold | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem.
    It really describes how one cutter feels.
    The only thing I didn't really like
    is that it really doesn't have an ending.
    I think you could've added so much more
    to really make it stand out.
    Still a good write.

    :)

    <33

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2007-08-12 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't give you a title hun', it must come out of your own heart and soul. The title is within you, but you must decide what best sums up what you are describing mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. You'll find the title soon enough, but I don't think any of us could ever do as well as you to come up with a good title. These are your thoughts and passions.
    | Posted on 2007-07-07 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      I personally think this poem was not too shabby, yes it is on the emo side of things but its still pretty cool. So anyways as far as tittles go maybe something like No Tomorrow or "Cuts of Tomorrow" or "Our Tomorrow" or "Tomorrow Today" or Tomorrow of Yesterday" or "Yesterday's Tomrrow" I dunno those are just some thoughts just because you seem to really be stuck in the past in this poem but trying to reach for tomorrow and it seems your today seems to be more of a focus on tomorrow instead of today. maybe im reading to much into it all but these are my thoughts, well i hoped that helped:) Take care and Cheer up!
    | Posted on 2007-07-07 00:00:00 | by EL | [ Reply to This ]
      first off, let me say that 'ron cole' suggested a really emo name. then again, i found the poem rather emo, itself. don't cut. the rhyming wasn't bad, and it, other than what i said earlier, seemed to have enough relevance to be important. anyway, i'd like to suggest a simpler, one word name, like either "Cuts" or "Perfect".
    | Posted on 2007-07-07 00:00:00 | by freddybuzzkill | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyme scheme and the structure of this is very good, and the story works well. How about "Cuts Upon My Soul" as a title suggestion?

    I really love this stanza:

    "because perfect is not wrong"

    | Posted on 2007-07-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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