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    dots Submission Name: Sword in Stonedots

    Author: Ensult
    ASL Info:    19/Male/New York
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 115/114/31
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 988
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1112

       Too sad to write.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSword in Stonedots

    Her sword of deception thrusts in your back
    Falling towards your heart's nest
    Scratching your internal walls on the way down

    Slicing through what you know as love
    Making your heart's home it's home
    Taking away the one thing that kept you going
    Taking away your need to breath

    Creating burdens on your soul
    Camoflauging it's way past you security
    Harshly poking at your being

    She broke into my soul and stole my heart
    My only way to sanity
    My only way to home

    Breaking it along the way
    Dropping it on the floor and stepping on it
    Keeping me far from it

    My most precious item became my most abused one
    My heart became her toy
    The thing she once valued with my life is now worthless

    What good is a broken heart
    What value am I worth now

    She killed my soul and left my flesh
    Taking my life in so many ways
    All I have left is my broken heart with her sword still in it

    Submitted on 2004-06-17 22:00:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! The imagery was brilliant. I thought this was one of the well done poems. I haven't read all the poems on this site (I doubt anyone has) but in my opinion this would definately be in the better section. One question, in the second line of the third stanza, is 'Camoflauging' how it is spelt? Sorry if it is, I have dodgy spelling so it probably is, it was just annoying me not knowing.
    | Posted on 2005-04-13 00:00:00 | by Cat | [ Reply to This ]
      "It's" should be "its"... but that's a technicality. Great poem, ironic title choice! I love that. Heh, great imagery, too, and the subtle analogies... me likes!
    | Posted on 2004-06-17 00:00:00 | by Erchomenos | [ Reply to This ]
      Very cool imagery... I could never come up with something like that. You have a great ability, don't let it go. I didn't find anything wrong that the others didn't already point out, so great write. I would love to see more.
    | Posted on 2004-06-17 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]

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