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    dots Submission Name: Thank Youdots

    Author: Katana Ryoko
    ASL Info:    17/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 483/428/109
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 777
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 527

       The poem explains it all.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThank Youdots

    I'm getting over you, baby boy
    The pain I had when you left
    Is slowly not becoming an issue
    Someone else is taking control
    Of this beautiful heart you left behind
    You should see the transformation
    That you caused to happen in my life
    My eyes are opened to this girl
    Someone intelligent and pretty
    That I didn't see in the mirror before
    I feel this wonderful confidence
    Because of you I have found it
    And for that I must say thank you

    Submitted on 2007-07-08 18:46:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this. It's short and sweet but it gets the point across very well. when i read it, i feel it has a calm tone kind of. and that calm tone puts more emphasis on the suggestion that the speaker went through some troubles but is now ok. i'm not sure if i'm explaining it right. ha i'm having some problems explaining what i mean. but i hope what i said makes sense to you. overall, i like this and i think it ends at just the right moment.
    | Posted on 2007-07-13 00:00:00 | by EileenToTheLeft | [ Reply to This ]
      Jacoby reversed himself there. "Turning a positive into a negative"? I think he meant to change word order a bit, but in any case, I'll agree with him for the rest of it.

    It's good to see a bit of your old optimism shining through.

    | Posted on 2007-07-13 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Taking a positive and making it into a negative. Very admiriable. I am myself making a big effort to be optimistic about things recently - life, love, work, all the usual crap haha. It's so easy to become disillusioned and depressed, so it's nice to see someone else taking the same stance as me for once. Yay for you.

    I like how this is written as if it's been poured out of you - no punctuation, just free falling emotion and new realisations. Tis very liberating to read and kinda made me want to applaud when i'd finished.

    Thanks for sharing your work.


    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by Jacoby | [ Reply to This ]
      it's always nice to find that Strong Confident Woman inside, isn't it? Sadly, it usually takes something heart wrenching for us to find it, but none the less, it was indeed there to be found. Sometimes we dont know exactly how strong we really are until we are tested, but in the end we grow from that, walking away feeling refreshed or somewhat reborn.

    I'm glad that you found that, though the reason that you did wasn't a pleasant experience I'm sure.

    take care
    | Posted on 2007-07-09 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?


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