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    dots Submission Name: For Amandadots

    Author: Erchomenos
    ASL Info:    19/F/Montreal
    Elite Ratio:    5.19 - 260/85/19
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1165
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 649

       I wrote this for my sister, because she asked me to.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor Amandadots

    In these webs of lies and deceit,
    A spider waits; hungry.

    Tied down to beds,
    Knees knocked and lips dribbling
    Blood, it's a private war we wage
    Against that desperate internal army
    Clawing at frail, paper-bag lungs
    And a heart too tentatively beating.

    Blurred faces gather round—
    People made of tear ducts
    Spewing prayers for healing and
    Personal salvation. Hear them yet?


    In the silence, amidst the pills
    And cerulean/periwinkle open-back gowns,
    Is a Presence
    Waiting to enlighten.

    Submitted on 2004-06-17 23:06:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I really liked this, is your sister OK? I liked the imagery that you used, especially about the spider. Very awesome! I like it when people can write about siblings and show such deep concern and emotion. Best wishes.
    | Posted on 2004-06-17 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sad, and the imagery is vivid and adds to the sadness. It's like you turn our heads and make us look at something we usualy choose to turn away from. Paperbag lungs, very good description.
    | Posted on 2004-06-18 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, its cool and you can also picture the words in your head. The feeling you get is also strong, you can tell the pain that the person felt.
    | Posted on 2004-06-19 00:00:00 | by Babykatty | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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