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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Nevermind" - An Excerptdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LRRolins
    ASL Info:    17/A/A world you dont own
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 142/140/84
    Words: 374
    Class/Type: Story/
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2444



    Description:
       Well,I don't really know what this is.I guess it was just a short story that I was attempting to write a couple of years ago.In fact,it doesn't have a date or title,so I just randomly came up with something.It's old,that's all I know,so be nice.I might continue it later on,but that's later,isn't it? ;D

    Well,tell me what I could improve on,and what do ya think of meh older writings! *laughs*

    <222 Lindel

    P.S.:I think I wrote this in the 6th grade. O.o


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Nevermind" - An Excerptdots
    -------------------------------------------


    "I don't need make up;I have my own sorrow",I heard her voice echo.It was calm and stern and longing and,yet,everything that is her being.Even so,it startled me.It was an echo,and then it wasn't.She was standing so close to me,in front of me.In fact,this was the closest that eitehr she or I had ever been,but there she was standing,quivering,before me;scared yet unafriad.It had startled me because what she had said was the truth.I could feel her sorrow,taste her sorrow,hear her sorrow,see her sorrow.I could sense it.Now,and now,I felt it more than ever.

    That black-clothed 'freak' was still standing before me,and I could feel the tension.She was preparing to kill me, (I could feel it as her eyes bore into mine) and everyone esle was pratically breathing done my kneck.I couldn't stand it,this massive publicity stunt.Yell,scream,holler!Run??...All thoughts ran through my sluttered mine.I yelled at her.

    "What are you talking about,you stupid skater-freak?!?"

    "You...know..what I'm..talking about...",she whispered loudly into my quivering ear through her now gritted teeth.Both of her black-taloned hands now gripped me by my shirt collar.My back was pressured against the wall,and I just so happened to be terrified.She was threatening me.It was working though.Boy,was it working...

    I may have been terrified,but I wasn't amused,so I somewhat,passively, gave up.At that moment,our eyes were total deadlock.She saw my fear and let go smiling,walking away.I moved away from the wall slowlly..She came back.Without the triumphant smile that had once played apon her face only seconds ago,she pushed me up against the wall again and spoke.HEr voice rang out through the mumour-ladened,silent halls clear and true.A voice I've never heard was what resonated through not only those grayed,brickened walls,but also through my heart and my mind.And it shook,shattered my heart like a brick thrown through a church window.

    The next day was only rumours and lost rumours at that.Yesterday did not fade into the past like forgotten,long-ago scripted words.In fact,it kept like stagnant,infested swamp water or a putrid,rank,and rotting head of lettuce in the back of your creppy,next-door neighbor's refrigderator.I was a scapegoat now.Her scapegoat as a matter of fact...




    Submitted on 2007-07-08 23:13:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You wrote this in sixth grade? Cool.
    All I can say it lovely atmosphere you've got going (keep it up, no, it's really good) and why all the random extra punctuation marks?

    Put spaces between the sentences. That's all I have to complain about.

    -goes off somewhere else-

    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2007-07-09 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]


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