Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Exercise in Vulgaritydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 230/384/131
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 471
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2267



    Description:
       Before anyone asks, no. This has never been said to me. Worry not!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Exercise in Vulgaritydots
    -------------------------------------------


                             You told me once
                        that no one else would
                                       ever
                                  love me.

              I was a good girl,
         too pristine and ethereal
              to be interesting.

                             It was a good thing,
                                  you said,
                        I was pretty enough to screw.

              When you weren’t listening,
              I rolled unexplored words
              across an unpracticed tongue.

              “Damn,” I whispered. “Shit.
                        Fuuuuuck.”

                                  I’ll escape you yet.




    Submitted on 2007-07-09 02:51:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Makes me think that you are a good girl who really wants to be bad in order to show this guy who you can be.

    But why do it? If he thinks you're too good, why try to be bad? Why please others? More specifically, why please a guy like this? If he thinks you're a goody two shoes, be a goody twelve shoes.

    Or something like that.

    The title definitely fits with the poem. A person unpracticed in being vulgar has an "exercise" (she practices) in being vulgar.

    Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      That was really good; I liked the added humour at the end. The poem about her being a good girl when judging by the words she says at the end, she’s clearly not, or intends to be no more.

    “I was a good girl,
    too pristine and ethereal
    to be interesting.”

    ““Damn,” I whispered. “Shit.
    Fuuuuuck.”

    I’ll escape you yet.”

    Those are to brilliant contradictions that explain there is more to a person than meets the eye. These lines:

    “I rolled unexplored words
    across an unpracticed tongue.”

    Clearly make the person in who you are referring to interesting to the reader, it keeps us in suspense of what’s going to happen next as there’s a hint that revenge might happen, and from a good girl it is interesting to know what they are capable of on the quiet.

    I like the structure of the poem; it works in favour of it though I haven’t entirely worked out why it’s written that way. But it definitely makes it read better.

    Thanks for the read
    Take care,

    *~xXxLinzixXx~*
    | Posted on 2007-07-09 00:00:00 | by Linzi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    146345

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    prison written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry