Description: Sunday July 8th 2007
It's funny how life sometimes makes you eat your words. Theres only one person who will understand a word of what I'm saying so I'm sorry if this is just like some big inside joke to the rest of you. the Irony of this whole Piece makes me sick. take it for what its worth. here it is.
When “I miss you.” Isn’t enough
Where do you begin?
How do you invoke the feelings
Burning inside your heart?
Paper will never come close
To such passionate longing.
So just close your eyes and listen.
My heart beats to the rhythm you tell it to
Slow and steady
Pushing through your absence
Just trying to patiently wait this out
Until your warm touch sends it racing
Right out of my chest.
The only nights I dream
I dream of you.
In vivid Technicolor memory
I play back all our best times.
I can feel your love run through me
With your head on my chest
Sound asleep in my arms
Running my fingers through your hair
We’ll sleep good like this tonight.
In everything I see
I see your face
And every day
The California sun smiles at me with your eyes
Reminding me I’m loved.
A song you like
Some Easy Mac
And inside joke that’s just for us
KRAFT SINGLES always seems to be enough
To keep you forever in my mind
Distracting me from everything else
But I’ll day dream on
Cause this is never as much fun
I’ll day dream my life away
Just to get another look at you.
All of this just to say “I miss you.”
i absolutly LOVE this piece of writing! you wrote this out so vividly and filled with so much emotion! i dont really have an critiques for you, but i felt that i should at least comment to tell you how much i loved reading this and how much i feel that i can relate. (finacee in navy, enough said lol). you pretty much took all of my words straight from my mouth about longing for a loved one.
fantastic work and a very beautiful poem.
I can see this in vivid "Technicolor" as you stated so well. I do get a strong sense of the emotion and longing for this someone to be with you. I do like the re-enstatement of the "I miss you" from the start to the end, because it gives an emotional cap off which a lot of writes don't seem to have, giving one who reads it that final blow to the heart to truely captivate them into it and give them a second look through it.
I do like it, not my personal cup of tea some would say, but it is worth reading again.
I LOVE IT!!!!! It's written perfectly! I wish I could write this well. It was so full of emotion, that I wanted to cry. I have to admit, the title kind of through me off, but after reading it, I loved it. This is the best I've ever read from anyone. You are my poetry hero. Keep up the amazing work, and I'll always keep reading.
Submission Name: Invoke Passion
