[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hiddendots

    Author: DearlyDeparted
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 211/290/189
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1157
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 796

       A day inwhich I was alive, but didn't feel like I was living.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Of simple minded ignorance.
    Daily duties,
    Forced to repeat.
    Crying alone,
    I won't accept defeat.
    Just goes to show,
    Truely how much you really care.
    For the simple fact,
    That you weren't even there.
    Walk away,
    For the rest of today.
    Don't worry,
    Me is whom you don't see.
    You run,
    Try and hide.
    While is inside,
    I try to subside.
    Try to comprehend,
    This life that I so badly want to live.
    Forever alone,
    Scars never being shown.
    Just wanting so simply,
    Exactly what you've always wanted.
    If you didn't want it,
    Why try and take it.
    Take my life,
    Make it right.
    STOP this FIGHT!

    Submitted on 2007-07-10 09:18:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The only qualm I have about this poem is that truely is spelled wrong. Delete the 'e' and you're find. I understand this piece very well, but I think this could undergo some major editing to get the point across. :D
    | Posted on 2008-10-02 00:00:00 | by augustcranes | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't have a lot to say, i'm afraid, but i thought this was very good!
    | Posted on 2007-07-10 00:00:00 | by freddybuzzkill | [ Reply to This ]
      In my personal opinion with the right structuring this poem would be great as lyrics because of the simplicity of it. When I say simplicity, I mean it in a positive way meaning that it is capable of being understood by both the everyday man and the learned man, but not to be picky there is a misspelled word or two, although this doesn't really distract me from the poem, it may distract others to the point of not reading the piece any further.
    | Posted on 2007-07-10 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]