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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Skylights For Falling Starsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Predator
    ASL Info:    21/m/Derbyshire, England
    Elite Ratio:    7.02 - 257/198/73
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1013
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1176



    Description:
       A revision


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSkylights For Falling Starsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your toes curl.
    The delicate touch of fingertips by moonlight.
    His hand on your hip, holding just tight enough.
    Surrounded by stars that scar the night as they blink,
    Reflecting, like tiny pieces of glass scattered across the sky,
    At the people standing on the ground beneath them.
    Fragile blades of grass sway in the evening breeze.
    Softly.
    Brown hair settles on shoulders,
    Running through fingers and over soft skin.
    Clouds rip apart.
    Skin softens still on adoring lips.
    Standing alone with our thoughts
    Asking questions without answers.

    Smoke waves towards the sky by streetlight.

    “What are you thinking?”

    Quietly. Softly.
    The ground is wet beneath your feet.
    Eyes don’t meet as you ponder the question,
    Doubting your beliefs on a starry night.

    “What are you thinking of?”

    Is there ever an answer?
    He wills the stars to answer back
    Even a whisper

    A pause

    Softly still

    “Me too”

    And they begin to fall




    Submitted on 2007-07-10 14:30:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was so beautiful! I love your writing style. It's something which I try to achieve, but seem to fail at so far. From the begining I was in the poem. I was there looking up at the stars. I love the inconsistency of it. Almost as if you're writing the first thing that comes to your mind, and yet it flows so well together. Great write!

    Ceruleanstorm
    | Posted on 2007-08-19 00:00:00 | by CeruleanStorm | [ Reply to This ]
      Craig,
    Geez, that was beautiful. Having brown hair and being partial to moonlight makes me love it even more. The imagery is absolutely fantastic. I was the girl standing in the moonlight througout the entire poem, and having been through a recent starlit moment, it was oddly reminescent of how I felt in that second in time. Kudos to you for being that excellent of a writer. I don't have a single negative thing to say about the poem.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Clover
    | Posted on 2007-07-14 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]
      Craig,
    Geez, that was beautiful. Having brown hair and being partial to moonlight makes me love it even more. The imagery is absolutely fantastic. I was the girl standing in the moonlight througout the entire poem, and having been through a recent starlit moment, it was oddly reminescent of how I felt in that second in time. Kudos to you for being that excellent of a writer. I don't have a single negative thing to say about the poem.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Clover
    | Posted on 2007-07-14 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... this is so different. I don't think I've ever read poetry like this, it sort of brings everything to a whole new level. I congratulate this simply on originality alone, it's good. I love the ending, but I was sort of confused on the characters, lost between either a girl alone, or lovers beneath the starry sky. Your description of things are so graceful, but it had an edge of violence to it, referring to the stars as scars on the sky. This was brilliant, I liked it a lot. Questions unanswered asked to the night sky, I like it. Makes me want to ask some of my own, to see if she agrees.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2007-07-10 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]


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