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Don't Judge Me

Author: 7makaveli
Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 36 /43 /50
Words: 183
Class/Type: Poetry /Angry
Total Views: 953
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 998


Don't Judge Me

Why do you have to judge a book based on the front page?
Why you judge me when God waits till the end of my days?
It's my life, have you ever walked in my shoes?
If you did then you would know why I do what I do,
Why I hear what I hear, not everything is clear to me,
Why I see what I see, because not everything is near to me,
Why I feel what I feel, not everything is fair to me,
I've got selective perception, not everything is there for me,
My mind makes decisions based on the many relations my senses make through the nervous system,
If I'm different at the core I'm different as a whole,
You make judgements while looking through a narrow hole, you don't see all of me, you don't see me morally,
I've been through it all, the bottom of my feet tell a story so deep, If I try to tell it you might fall asleep, so what does that say about you? Judge yourself before you judge me.

Submitted on 2007-07-11 12:52:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  very nice... i have a simply poem... "Take a walk in these shoes" i belive thats the title check it out you may like it. anyhew this is amazing at first i was like uhh.. not knowing where you were going with it but at the end you rapped it up quiet nicely i must say :)

| Posted on 2007-07-12 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm sorry, but I really don't like it. It doesn't flow very well, the grammar leaves a lot to be desired, and the word choice is mediocre. Above all else, the topic is extremely cliché, and you've brought nothing new to the subject, nothing to give it a new flavor. See, using a cliché subject is fine, but you have to try to bring something new and interesting to it. A new twist, perhaps.
"Don't judge me, I did many things I should have thinked twice about,"
Erm, this thoroughly annoys me. "Thinked" is NOT a word. The past tense of "think" is "thought". I'm sorry, but stuff like that drives me crazy.
"Intellect, imagination and a hint of the divine,"
This seems to be nothing more than an unimaginative forced rhyming.
Robert Frost once said something that I hold be very true- "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." I think that all writers need to remember that while writing.
When you write, you're trying to pour feeling into your work, set the mood. You haven't done at that all in this poem.
"But I was in control and I'll take the easy way out,"
I don't exactly understand why you're ending the poem with a comma. This line seems like something from annoying teen emo/pop song. It isn't original in the least.

Well, thats I've got to say.


| Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by Jazzy | [ Reply to This ]

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