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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ...what little girls are made of...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 707
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 747
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4029



    Description:
       ~when the muse is no longer amusing~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots...what little girls are made of...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    What Little Girls Are Made Of…

    Did you really think you could cut out my tongue with your silence? Frankly I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to be that skilled a surgeon…do you?

    Better than you have tried and failed…and limped away wishing.

    I knew you wouldn’t reply to my email…

    That’s okay though, if I really want to know what you think of me, I’ll read the latest offering on your blog. Because you’re concerned…and you love me in your own odd way, don’t you? And fate is recognizing the inevitable. Wouldn’t you agree?

    Is it true the best poems are prayers? Because you pray with the passion of a man passing through solid objects. Did you learn these passions studying others, or would…lesser…passions distract you from your own?

    Remember this?

    Middle aged
    Couple playing
    Tennis when they
    Go home
    The net is still
    between them


    You should never leave pieces of yourself where others can find them. It’s too easy to comprehend what you mean by what you haven’t said.

    …how does it feel to siphon the wisdom of God and still be miserable?

    …how does it feel to be alone in the arms of memory without a lover?

    I know who you are…I could caress your emptiness and restore the dreams that brush your skin like an afterthought whispered in the dark. Why be…terrified? I’m not the disease you fear, just…the love you thought you recognized and the hope you once…believed.

    Or, if you prefer, I’m hell. A pleasant nightmare bathed in the sweet nectar of heaven.

    And you’re just a bee on a leash…

    …my love.

    Pleasant dreams…

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Well…okayyyy…

    I suddenly feel…speechless…

    Provocative? Yes.

    Flattering? Of course.

    Mysterious? No doubt.

    But…let’s not do this…for reasons I very well know and you may not be aware of. Even the unattached should be cautious. Some people find any attention impossible to digest, it goes straight to the ego…and emotions remain as durable as rice paper. My only mistake was to believe some problems are real…or more real than they appear.

    You’ll never read my response to your offer because I haven’t sent it. And I won’t. Even in the presence of angels, the best defense is a wall of silence. Don’t you agree?

    And if I ‘pray’ with the skills you claim I possess…what then? Trust is still lost somewhere between death and memory…and Academy Award worthy performances just don’t work anymore.

    When I die, I don’t want to be haunted.

    As for deconstructing lives, weren’t you the one who wrote that bit of sorcery about spilled milk and suicide? A bit angsty, don’t you think? Or do we share the same…strange skills?

    People can be more than one thing, you know…and I believe someone once said misery loves company… as often as it can. The same someone who sampled too many…delights and can’t discern between sweet and salt and sour now. His palate is ruined. What’s your taste? What’s your …pleasure? Why do you haunt strangers?

    You want me to think of you as-what-Karloff in an old movie about to rob a grave? Telling the unsuspecting doctor ‘you’ll never be rid of me?’ I believe you’re just someone who married too young and had children too soon. Or perhaps you’d like to. And now you’ve chosen to cling to kindness as if you were a very old person holding an umbrella waiting for the rain.

    You say we’ve met before? When?

    And what was the sexiest thing we ever said to one another? Hello?

    Or goodbye?




    Submitted on 2007-07-11 14:41:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      (Typo: "I suddenly feel…specchless…")

    Ugh. I really wanted to leave a good comment on this. But I don't think I'll ever be able to. I just want to say, that this is how I imagine conversations in my head. You know, the conversations you preplan to have with certain people, when the voices are raw and poetic and the talk is more a dance. Or something more violent; a sword fight, a joust. There's so many lines I want to copy and paste and say "this is amazing!" that I think I'll just say "Go back and read your piece and at the end of each sentence say 'My god, what genius is this?'"

    Yeah...this is stunning.
    | Posted on 2007-08-11 00:00:00 | by wool raincoat | [ Reply to This ]
      And what was the sexiest thing we ever said to one another? Hello?

    Or goodbye?





    ARGH!
    bill you are a flipping genius!
    this end is so damn brilliant. seriously. gah!

    what little girls are made of.
    im guessing you disagree with that old rhyme of sugar and spice and all things nice...

    though i love the way you play with the idea of taste throughout this piece. the sweet salty sour ruined palate of a man... brilliance!


    i know her voice.
    im not sure how.
    im not sure i want to.
    shes so... antagonising. so self assured. so manipulative. she could talk anyone into a frenzy and cause them to doubt themselves. she could completely recreate your past and make you believe it.

    in some ways she sounds mentally unstable to me...


    what i think i love about this is that it can be taken more than one way.
    the first time i read through this i thought it to be a real person... a real relationship... some kinda internet thing perhaps... where an older man whose marriage has lost its magic has found the magic in some girl and whatever but then... then theres your description... when muses are no longer amusing which leads me to think that she is your muse and shes turned sour... shes too obsessive... too crazy... too always in your ears and annoying you...

    and so what is the sexiest thing you can say to a pain in the ass muse?
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my goodness, I love it. That's it, I am adding it to my favorites list. You are special.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      Well Bill,

    This sounds very personal. I don't know if you are angry or simply being sarcastic with the fact that a love is no longer a love.

    I see your work and i'm like let me read it and see what he means what little girls are made of. I think there was a song like that in an old time movie. I think it was Gigi. I can't remember the words but everytime i see that line i can hear the tune of the song. I really didn't notice how many words it was until half way. The i stopped right where you paused me and scrolled to the rest. But i still read it because it seemed incomplete without finishing it.

    Depends how you feel with the sexiest words. If you no longer can stand the person , the sexiest thing they say is goodbye. If you're attracted, the sexiest thing they say is hello. But it doesn't matter with the words because it's how you feel about it that matters. A person you love can curse you up and you'd think it's music playing in your ears.

    Still i think it's a personal relationship issue you have here. There is always a way to work out relationships but when partners no longer get each other, what's the point. Right?

    Anyhow, nice read. Cheers,

    Irina
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great! Not only are your metaphors unique, but they're powerful. I can feel your prideful-controlled anger; you're submitting to no one, and for that I have to give you a raiding applause. Good job.

    -angel-
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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