[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Myspacedots

    Author: Dutchess_aira
    ASL Info:    23/f/HI
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 41/42/22
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 802
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 806

       When one breaks up with their significant other we sometimes don't do it the best of ways lol..why not do over myspace hey if brit can use a text I can use Tom..hahaha j/k....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I felt proud to delete you off my list
    A milestone for me to let you go from my top 8
    Weeks went by, I frantically thought
    Does he know? Does he care?
    Will he call and Ask why?
    Yesterday I saw your face on a friends top 8
    Memories flood back of what I had done
    How Could I be so dumb?
    I read your status, you're looking for the one
    Sadly She's not me I know, yet I wish it was.
    Looking at your page I see how cute you are
    And how deep you are for your profile song.
    Displaying affection for a girl you'll never know
    I stare helplessly wanting to call you and
    Make you mine again,
    Pride overpowers my heart
    As I move on forgetting the day I accepted
    Your Friend Request.

    Submitted on 2007-07-11 15:57:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      That is indeed sad!
    Not just the topic alone, what you had done.
    I think you should have given him the courtesy of telling him to his face, rather than him finding out through MySpace.
    What would you do if your roles were reversed?
    As far as the poem is concerned:
    You may want to consider changing
    "Proudness overpowers my heart" to "Pride overpowers my heart". PROUDNESS sticks out like a sore thumb.
    | Posted on 2007-07-12 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]
      Woah, that is so sad! I felt that. The words come right off the page and hit with tremendous force! The awful feeling of rejection then denial, I know that drill well.

    A very powerful write. Take care.
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by ssssss | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]