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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blissdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BrokenAngelKat
    ASL Info:    20-F-NC
    Elite Ratio:    1.67 - 103/233/192
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 526
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1107



    Description:
       Based on the man of my dreams...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlissdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's 5 am...
    And we just got off the phone.
    Been talkin til 10.
    But we just couldnt let go.
    You had me laughing and smilin all nite.
    You make me happy and baby that feels alright.
    I wanna let you know how much you mean to me.
    I wanna let you know I'm glad you're my baby.
    I wanna let you know that you're the sunshine in my life.
    I wanna let you know that you make everything feel so right.
    Just saw your car.
    Drivin down the highway.
    I passed you with a smile.
    Now you're callin me.
    I wont answer,
    Just tease and let you wonder.
    My heart's beating like crazy..
    Are you chasing me now baby?
    I want you to...
    I want you to pull me into your arms and tell me I'm a brat.
    I want you to kiss me and say you like me like that.
    I want you to tell me I'm beautiful even though my hair's a mess.
    I know you'll do it too baby..
    I like life like this.




    Submitted on 2007-07-11 16:13:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's good out of the three poems I have read from you that something inside of this world makes you feel better and has that escape from the reality you live in. Love can conquer all, and it will conquer all. This poem, though was not much of my taste, not because it was upbeat, because I like happy poems as well, but because it is a very young writers style. It's very juvinal, but I completely understand that because of how young you are. Though most of your writing is very deep, it is very astounding at some of things you say, and this is what I know, that later on, after maturing, after your mind begins to grow more and more, and if you are still writting that you will have some of the most beautiful writes I've ever seen. Anyways, I see this a bit of a comedy, which is a good thing, like I said it's good to see some happy things jotted down on paper, at least someone makes you feel this way. I would just want you to correct a few things, to stop using the words til, lil, wanna, drivin, don't cut your words to the modern text slang people use nowadays, it really turns off a lot of readers on the site and a lot of other poets.
    | Posted on 2007-08-23 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad, it's a nice piece of work actually.. It doesn't exactly flow, but I have a feeling that you didn't want it to. Over all a nice peice of work.

    =Phantom=
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by Phantom Tragedy | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem. I like the format of it and the description is great. My favorite part is when you say: " Just tease and let you wonder"
    I know it is fun tease the men in our life.


    check out some of my poems if you want.
    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by pyrosweetheart | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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