Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: pain and lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wilted_flower
    ASL Info:    22 f uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 42/56/28
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 600
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1341



    Description:
       a ten minute composition. See how you like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspain and lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the pain my release will lie,
    Grant my wish to sleep- no urge to die,
    But to close my eyes and rest my mind
    And perhaps in the chaos my peace I'll find,
    'Cause by these talons tainted red
    More than mere words are ever said,
    Each jagged line, uneven shape
    Shows a brand new lie or a new mistake,
    So let these nails make their path,
    Burn the dragon and consume the wrath,
    And if I smile, that is when,
    I urge you 'friend' to look again,
    In my eyes you'll see my greatest role-
    The smiling girl with the twisted soul,
    And if you can love me, spirit, body and heart,
    Maybe then I'll relinquish the part,
    But tell me my dear, could it be true?
    Could you ever love me, the way that I love you?
    Fight the dragon, forgive the wrath?
    Ignore the nails and their broken path?
    Hear the words that remain unsaid?
    Stop these nails being tainted red?
    And more than that, could you ever see,
    Look beneath the facade to the real me?
    If you can, then that is when,
    Once more in my eyes you'll see the smile again,
    And if you will then I'm forever yours,
    But if you break my heart- then watch me fall.






    Submitted on 2007-07-12 15:19:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i rarely like stuff that rhymes but this was intriguing. nice job
    | Posted on 2007-07-13 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. Just one question (probably me being stupid): what's it about?
    Ed
    | Posted on 2007-07-12 00:00:00 | by Lord Bane | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    146553

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Every..... written by jackz
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry