Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

your life, so tragic,

Author: explosions
ASL Info:    -237.6995/she/the library
Elite Ratio:    6.87 - 59 /50 /52
Words: 180
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 820
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1270


written 4.3.07.

your life, so tragic,

THIEVED from the cradle,
stolen from the crib:
cursory nursery

your life,
so tragic,

a child stripped of innocence[/ignorance, it’s all the same]
and, therefore, never one

if i told your story [word for word]
to the widow who lives across the street,
sipping tea and eating marzipan,
after a hot summer’s day work in the garden;
she’d cry
a deluge of tears
salinating her confectionery
maybe i’ll tell her one day when i’m bored

your story,
so tragic,

if it ever fell upon the ears
of the fisherman at the dock
he’d scoff and scowl,
clench his jaw, grit his teeth
say who cares
it’s yer own gawddamn fault
but i’d know by his eyes, through a certain softening
and later, out of the sympathy would come sacrifice
he’d donate a few grimy, hard-earned dollars
maybe i’ll tell him one day when i’m feeling charitable

your story,
so tragic,

a thousand stories like yours
would make up a skyscraper of sorrow
but i wouldn’t shed a tear

your life,
so tragic,

Submitted on 2007-07-12 20:07:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Interesting...I'm not sure what to think on it actually. It's different in a odd sort of way in both style and symbols. I don't mean that as a bad or good thing. I'm not sure what else i can give you than that.

by the way, you have posted the most poems at one time that i have ever seen by one user.
I don't think i've seen that many poems posted at one time by the community all at once even.
| Posted on 2007-07-14 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?