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responses


Author: explosions
ASL Info:    -237.6995/she/the library
Elite Ratio:    6.87 - 59 /50 /52
Words: 25
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 954
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 229



Description:


written 5.8.07.


responses



lethargic toads

they don't react
don't even blink
at the truly egregious things
yet leap in warty offense
at the slightest
truth




Submitted on 2007-07-12 20:27:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like how this poem is pissed-off and biting and blunt. I like the phrase "warty offence". And yeah, people can be odd things raised on bad tv and delusions that have left them all inverted and frustrating. "lathargic toads". And they'd be sure to take offence at the thought.

The simple style (no punctuation or any of that jazz) does keep all the focus on the thought rather than how the poem's presented, but I think it could work split up a bit like so...

lethargic toads

they don't react
don't even blink
at the truly egregious things

yet leap in warty offense
at the slightest
truth

Or just have the first line on its own. Or not. It's not really a make or break thing.

Yeah. I liked this.
| Posted on 2007-07-22 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
  Apart from the fact that I have no idea what 'egregious' means and also couldn't find it in the Thesaurus... I quite liked the poem. I also enjoy writing short pieces like this and feel you've constructed it beautifully. Well written.
| Posted on 2007-07-21 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


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