|
|
lethargic toads they don't react don't even blink at the truly egregious things yet leap in warty offense at the slightest truth |
I like how this poem is pissed-off and biting and blunt. I like the phrase "warty offence". And yeah, people can be odd things raised on bad tv and delusions that have left them all inverted and frustrating. "lathargic toads". And they'd be sure to take offence at the thought. The simple style (no punctuation or any of that jazz) does keep all the focus on the thought rather than how the poem's presented, but I think it could work split up a bit like so... lethargic toads they don't react don't even blink at the truly egregious things yet leap in warty offense at the slightest truth Or just have the first line on its own. Or not. It's not really a make or break thing. Yeah. I liked this. | Posted on 2007-07-22 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ] | Apart from the fact that I have no idea what 'egregious' means and also couldn't find it in the Thesaurus... I quite liked the poem. I also enjoy writing short pieces like this and feel you've constructed it beautifully. Well written. | | Posted on 2007-07-21 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ] | |