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    dots Submission Name: early morning tripdots

    Author: poppi
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 72/55/37
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 1095
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 927

       working on details, idk i might make this longer and turn it into an actual story or something

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsearly morning tripdots

    I sat on a bench outside of Wal-Mart. Unfortiantly I had arrived a bit to early for opening. The cold morning biting at my exposed cheeks, and making a dance of my white breathe swirling from my lips. The sun glinted over the half deserted parking lot. One man slept in his car as the others were all empty. Morning shift employees, I sighed and closed my eyes. Why I insisted on being here so early I really couldn't tell you. Perhaps it was becuase no one else was about, or perhaps becuase i just wanted to get the shopping over with.
    Finally the door opened, I walked down the wide pathway separating the food from toddler clothes. Upon the last isle i grabbed the gallon of milk I had come for. Walking back through the same path way I made a left turn. Register 4 was the only one open. I smiled as the cashier rung up my order. I left the store with small confident steps now to make my way to the rite aid.

    Submitted on 2007-07-13 09:34:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i love the imagery in this piece, especially the line "and making a dance of my white breathe swirling from my lips." i could definately see you turning this into a story. an idea could be to wander throught the aisles of wal-mart, different ones could bring back different memories etc. but yeah, great imagery in this piece, im definately going to check out some more of your work.

    | Posted on 2008-01-03 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]

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