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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Secret Placesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Myopic
    Elite Ratio:    2.3 - 29/53/56
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 224
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1972



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSecret Placesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Knowing
    you

    is knowing
    the power of coincidence
    and the
    essence of happiness
    which is so obvious and
    dumbfounding when you
    do the smallest
    things that no one else would notice,
    to acknowledge me.
    It's in the identical scars
    on our worn knees
    that will make me remember and wonder,
    all my life
    about the things that could be, will be
    and please,
    I hope you will too -

    the sneaking into other people's
    secret places; abandoned houses
    filled with memory and pain and
    happiness and life
    all empty and mysterious
    with room for us to wonder,
    the secret places that
    provoked the natural
    opening of ours
    with smelling of hair,
    of sweat, of wetness.
    the
    complete microcosmic, blissful feeling
    of knowing someone so similar and so
    coincidental and so open to my insecurity.
    feeling
    so
    helpless,
    yet so
    in
    vin
    ci
    ble
    falling into your secret
    places-
    the silent staring into
    oblivion's unknown signals of stars
    wondering if this could be real
    and giving us ethereal
    recognition
    is everything
    we know
    and
    feel so strongly.

    I rush to you
    like i rush to my pen and paper:
    hopefully to express something
    that you are to me.
    yet, you are so inexplicable,
    sometimes it feels more right
    to keep you that way
    and to hold you close
    in cosmic
    mystery.

    and to that mystery,
    the answer is everything we
    can be
    and everything we are
    in common,
    together,
    looking at this gift from chaos,
    looking at a chaotic, confusing world

    and

    smiling.




    Submitted on 2007-07-14 11:05:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not going to babble on about how beautiful this is, because I have no doubt you know that. The magic and the mystery of the ethereal, sigh.

    “the
    complete microcosmic, blissful feeling
    of knowing someone so similar and so
    coincidental and so open to my insecurity.”
    I think I like this part, no, I don’t think I like it, I do like it.

    I don’t know why I find this piece of work such a tear jerker, but I did, thankfully however you place
    “looking at this gift from chaos,
    looking at a chaotic, confusing world

    and

    smiling.”
    So fittingly at the end with no cliff hangers or what not, and I did indeed smile.
    Your rather talented, but this was one of your best by far.

    Have a great week.
    Di
    | Posted on 2007-07-15 00:00:00 | by Andz | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...dam...what an amazing write.. i'm honestly speachless. everything literally everything here is perfect how you put it all together the words you used. how you were able to express those words.. how i was able to just grasp the entire thing.. amazing

    ~!*Jackie*!~
    | Posted on 2007-07-14 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually like this piece very much, and that's a good thing coming from me, a person who has trouble finding the good in a piece of poetry. It has a very interesting structure to it which I'm sure was intentional. Anyway you described the subject in a very creative and real way. It is very human to me which is a good thing. Meaning that the piece is not pretentious in any way, shape or form.
    | Posted on 2007-07-14 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]



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