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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Third White Russiandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Black Rock Tractor
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 555/824/140
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 2208
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 659



    Description:
       


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    dotsMy Third White Russiandots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish I could step
    Into the only picture I have of you;
    Just peel the plastic apart
    And stretch it over my head
    Like a too small T-shirt
    That evaporates
    Once I contort my head and arms through.
    The world on the other side would be a Wonderland
    Where the Sun rises and falls
    At our command,
    The Moon tells stories
    That warm cool nights,
    And the stars twinkle and wink
    As we lay beneath them.
    But God is not
    Lewis Carrol,
    So Ill just sit and think of you,
    Staring at the picture,
    As I stir
    My third White Russian.




    Submitted on 2004-06-18 11:54:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Altogether beautiful. It relaxes as much as that particular drink loosens, although I prefer the black ones. After two who knows what I'll say, but that was a very long time ago. One would sufice today.

    One note, Lewis Carroll is spelled with two trailing "L's" just as mine is with two leading ones. And while God is not Lewis, Lewis was a man of God as well as boundless talent and imagination.

    And welcome to the forum, from whence I linked your page.

    Lloyd
    | Posted on 2008-03-13 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      OK, juts a warning, I don't read the others comments until after I've posted.

    I really like this piece. The longing for the person in the picture comes screaming through. With the imagry of climbing into a photo, hoping to be together in a Wonderland where you control everything, you allude to being apart for some reason other than wanting to be apart.
    Death or forced dlistance are likely candidates, although death seems more likely.

    You have done a great job with this. I have a picture of my mum that I'd love to climb into and be able to be with her for just a little longer.

    Thanks for sharing!
    -Chell-
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Some poems have taste, and this one actually does taste like a White Russian....the bittersweet combination of Kahlua and cream...gentle on the tongue, with just a hint of the melancholy vodka aftertaste....

    I will probably be echoing a lot of people here, but hey, you're a canyon of creativity if you can make readers echo, right.....

    The getting into the photo image is incredible. Its one of those 'I wish I had thought of that' images...where its a successful marriage of 'something old and something new', in terms of feeling and expression....

    And of course, the nod to Mr Carroll...very ambiguous, as you could have a wonderland, but you could also fall 'through the looking glass', and be lost in endless reflections of what you search for.....

    (oh and small typo - should be 'Carroll', double L on the end)

    Longing and solitude in a sad, quietly seductive way....

    I think I'll take this one with me.

    All the best,

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the unique imagery here, of slipping into that photo, to enter her world where everything would be magical. You would be as deities, commanding the sun, entertained by moon and stars. The reference to Louis Carrol was perfect, connoting magical possibilities, and that man's imagination grants things that go unanawered in prayers. I like the straightforward realistic perspective, we are always aware that this is a fanciful pipedream inspired by longing and those White Russians. I liked the title, I thought the way the concluding line brought me back there, really sewed it up. completed the picture.
    Silver
    | Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      i've read quite a few of your poems just now and i really like your style.. you use straightforward language which makes for more accessible poetry.. so more people are bound to appreciate your writing.

    this one in particular is deceptively simple on the surface but there is so much more lurking under that first impression.

    loved the concept of peeling the plastic apart to get into the picture...

    and your use of the very physical imagery of trying to stretch into the t-shirt is the perfect means for the reader to get a really tight grip on what you're saying here in the poem.. rather than using a vague emotional metaphor.

    excellent poem.
    | Posted on 2004-07-07 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea of crawling into a photograph. If only we had that technology, but then again if that were possible the real world would most likely ceis to exist. But I still like the idea... Oh the photographs I would climb into! Great job!
    | Posted on 2004-06-18 00:00:00 | by SMUPartyGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      ooo, i used to love white russians! my best buddy and i would drink 'em all night and play our guitars and write funny little songs. i like the idea of stepping into that other world through the picture, like a too-small t-shirt. interesting image! cute little poem. sorry you're sad. have another russian!
    | Posted on 2004-06-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really nice. I was going to comment on the earlier version, but that was the day it wouldn't let me log in, and you deleted it. Anyway, I liked the other version better. I liked the romantic angle better than the drunk one. I still quite like this. the inagery is great. Any mention of Lewis Carroll wins brownie points with me.
    | Posted on 2004-06-19 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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