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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Wreck at Jessicadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Silverdog
    Elite Ratio:    7.21 - 2085/1512/140
    Words: 1201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1864
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 7528



    Description:
       This poem is a true story . Coquihalla is pronounced Coke e Hall` ah . Getting in the correct surnames and other details was a challenge in rhyming and meter. I was going for a train-like chug -chug rhythm and a story voice similar to a Robert Service poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Wreck at Jessicadots
    -------------------------------------------


    September fifth, nineteen twenty-six, a day of doom and mystery,
    That Sunday morn would soon see born a tale in railway history.
    A silver sheen lay cast on the green, the breeze blew crisp and cold,
    The hills were kissed with a shimmering mist of tamarack glimmering gold.

    The Mountain Ash, with scarlet cache, flecked the stands of spruce and pine,
    Aspens swayed and sunbeams played along the Kettle Valley Line.
    A skiff of snow, glimpsed from below, glinted silver in the sun
    and steel rails gleamed as an engine steamed,� number thirty-four-O-one.

    An engineer out of Brookmere, � Bob Marks was the hogger that day,
    with a seasoned crew, all of whom knew the Coquihalla's treacherous ways.
    With bridges and trestles, they�d have to wrestle using judgement and skill,
    climbing surely upgrade, with attention paid to keeping the pace downhill.

    There were twenty cars, hauling lead bars, and zinc and silver too
    from mines underground to the Orient bound, manned by a five-man crew.
    Up a steep grade, plugged the steel parade to the Coquihalla station�
    a routine run, with two thousand tons, and Hope as their destination.

    Through mountainous realm, Bob Marks held the helm, guiding his engine uphill�
    Ray Letts shovelled coal as the train upward rolled and slowly climbed higher still.
    Ollie Johnston, a Nordic son, with Mick Stringer manned the brakes that day,
    Conductor Jack Quinn, watched the air gauge within, and so far all seemed okay.

    Beside J.C. Quinn, rode ol� Clapperton, or "Smoky" as he was known,
    An engineer too, admiring the view, deadheading to Hope on his own.
    From the "crow�s nest", the spot he liked best, the cupola atop the caboose�
    some hoboes he spied, hitching a ride, and some transient boys on the loose.

    Quinn surveyed the scene, morning serene backlit by skies crystal blue, �
    of this crew of five, only one would survive before this trip was through!
    Every now and again, these practiced trainmen let a plume of steam on the breeze,
    over rivers and creeks, through valleys and peaks, they managed the steamer with ease.

    It was all uphill, an arduous drill, those first eighteen miles or so�
    but there was dispatched, and fast attached an engine with nine cars in tow.
    Now from the rear, this engineer pushed the burdened freighter up-grade, -
    John Osborne by name, drove this helper train, with fireman Barwick to aid.

    At the "Coq�, in a cloud of smoke, the train puffed into view,
    a scheduled stop at the mountain top, for there was much to do!
    Water and air were checked with care before the downhill roll,
    the brakes inspected, and next connected a dozen more cars of coal.

    The remaining stretch, as they wound west, lay down-grade over four per cent,
    perilously steep, over canyon deep, -a twisting, tortuous descent!
    The stations were named after characters famed in the plays of William Shakespeare�
    there was Juliet and Romeo, Portia, Iago, Jessica, Othello and Lear.

    Eleven more miles, then they stopped awhile at tiny Iago station.
    Ten minutes they took as by the book of CPR regulations
    for the brakes to cool, as per the rule, before descending the hill.
    Then the light flashed white and they chugged out of sight as Marks blew a parting quill.

    But it wasn't long, before things went wrong, as the train gathered speed that morning.
    Marks tried the brakes, but they wouldn't take, so he blasted an urgent warning.
    "I have no air!,- We haven't a prayer, so bail and I'll understand"
    then he grabbed a stick and climbed up quick, to set the brakes by hand.

    Now in the caboose, all hell broke loose when those gauges showed no air!
    Conductor Jack, taken aback, grabbed a club and breathed a prayer.
    He handset the brakes, midst horrific quakes, then scaled the next car without fear!
    He set those too, though inside he knew that the end of the line was near.

    The two brakemen joined J.C.Quinn astride the careening runaway train;
    With nimble feet, they fought defeat, but their efforts would prove in vain.
    Through Portia they flew, as the whistle blew doing ninety miles an hour!
    Here Ray Letts leaped, onto cinders heaped just past the water tower.

    He stood up dazed, much amazed that he�d somehow survived the fall�
    in the days ahead, he never once said, anything he could recall
    about the terror ,whether human error or whether booze was to blame,
    to his dying day, he had nothing to say, hence Clammy became his new name.

    Smoky then warned John Osborne that the train ahead was in trouble!
    To his cab he lurched and excitedly urged that the helper train be uncoupled.
    Brave young Barwick grabbed a "stick" and crawled to the hitch on the speeding caboose,
    then angle-cock closed ,he next broke the hose, pulled the pin and the helper came loose.

    Down the track with the throttle back flew the train and the crew under Marks,
    smoke poured from the wheels with hideous squeals and red hot showers of sparks.
    Oh what a sight, the terrible plight of the desperately struggling crew, �
    Smoky watched it swerve as it hit the curve when Jessica came into view.

    Osborne moaned when Johnston was thrown, for Ollie was the first to go.
    The rest hung on, but not for long as the runaway plunged to the canyon below.
    For miles around the hellish sound pealed through the gorge and frost swept hills
    the oil caught fire, the flames leaped higher,� an inferno raged through September�s chill.

    Nothing was left to loved ones bereft of their husbands, fathers and sons
    by fire consumed , there was little exhumed from the smouldering rubble of 2000 tons.
    A few buttons of brass, bone fragments and ash, a jackknife and buckles and such
    and fused to the steel of one brake-wheel, charred fingers curled in a ghastly clutch.

    And all the spoils from miner�s moils, to the earth were now returned
    the zinc and the gold, the oil and the coal, all mingled, molten and burned.
    To this day none can say, how many lives were lost in the flames�
    there were 4 of the crew, and several more who rode to their death without names.

    A watch of gold as good as told the spot where Marks had lost his life
    that he�d stood by his post �til he gave up the ghost was no comfort to his wife.
    She had just remarried, having previously buried her trainman husband Jack�
    both men she�d cherished, now both had perished on the Kettle Valley�s tracks.

    Now there are no more rails, but just a trail along the Kettle Valley Line
    the age of steam and McCullough�s dream forever lost to time.
    Cyclists ride and hikers stride the path where trains flew down the grade
    Daisies sway and sunbeams play and like wild roses, memories fade.



    Sally Bland �

    July 15, 2007




    Submitted on 2007-07-16 14:13:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Tales such as this one are very difficult to maintain in iambic meter without some areas changing the meter pattern. I won't dwell on the meter because the story is more important and very compelling. From your description, I see it's true!

    The length of this poem speaks to the amount of time you must have spent weaving all the names and places carefully into the lines while maintaining lots of flow. How appropriate to go for the "chug-chug" rhythm!

    I absolutely loved the way you ended the poem:
    "Cyclists ride and hikers stride the path where trains flew down the grade
    Daisies sway and sunbeams play and like wild roses, memories fade."

    Excellent work!

    :-) Sharon

    | Posted on 2008-11-30 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      What a ride! From beginning to end my eyes didn't want to stop reading. It glides and one can feel the danger as the summit nears.

    Beautiful scenery in the first strophes, Sally. Like a fine landscape, I can see it.

    I like how you've written the ending. The men claimed by the mountain and the metals returning to their homes.

    Even though it's sad, I feel complete in knowing, just from the way you've told the story. remarkable.

    Nan
    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      This is fantastic Sally. I'm not sure how I missed it previously.

    A wonderful tale set perfectly in rhythm. I'm so impressed with every aspect of this. Are you a avid trainsman yourself, or did this take massive amounts of research. The attention to details, tiny and yet so important in the authenticity, is really quite astounding.

    The tale itself, like so many that traipse along to a lovely meter, is naturally a sad one. I've always liked things like that, that sound pretty and taste sweet, but are nevertheless heartbreakingly sour. Like a good bluegrass song.

    The only line I struggled with was: "Ollie Johnston, a Nordic son, with Mick Stringer manned the brakes that day,"

    It just didn't quite roll off the tongue like the rest. I might try "a true Nordic son," or something like that. Then again, I might just leave it alone, as your taste is fairly impeccable.

    I loved this: "of this crew of five, only one would survive before this trip was through!"

    Halfway through or thereabouts, the reader learns the final destination, but it only seems to generate more interest. From that point on, I felt like my brakes gave out and I was plunging ahead at full steam, knowing my fate but unable to jump ship.

    Truly a great write Sally. It's good to see you back posting too. When I have a bit more time, I'm definitely coming back for Bear and Doll.

    Hope you are doing well,

    James
    | Posted on 2007-12-21 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]
      Sally, this is an epic tale of epic proportion. Your rhyme scheme is one that I use also, and it is highly effective. I really enjoy a story that is woven into rhyme.

    This piece is just great.

    Very well done.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Not really much to say here. I found that this was very well written and I could not stop until I finished. I do like how you managed to merge into the sudden feeling of doom by giving the reader a little taste of what was to come.
    The story and rhyme fit well as at times it is hard to keep the rhyme time going for so long. There are only so many words in the english vocabulary that you can use.
    I find at times that prose and stories tend to get boring but this one kept me glued to the page, hoping that the end would not come.

    Trains are a favorite of mine as I am sure they are a favorite of many people. They breath the history of our country.

    Well, I guess I will stop babbling and just say that this was a remarkable write.

    Very nicey done and thanks for the history lesson.

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2007-07-17 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      What great rhythm! You really have wonderful wonderful flow. It was a lovely lovely poem as well--not really told in the classic tragedy manner. I really liked this, not many people poems in this style anymore.

    I loved the originality of it as well. A train wreck! Timeless and clever.... not the over used genres of love, hate, despair, etc. I'm really in love with this and look forward to reading more of you work.

    I'd love to critique it, but i can't! I think of you as a far better writer than myself and can possibly look up to you for inspiration. Maybe I can learn something as well. It's nice to read someone who has really established style of writing.

    Also: it seems you know a lot about trains. Whether you looked this up or you just knew it off the bat...still very impressive!

    Great job!
    I will also add it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2007-07-16 00:00:00 | by lemonpromenade | [ Reply to This ]
      remarkable.

    that sayed, i've only one qualm, and since specifics elude me, you'll have some deduction on your hands.

    i feel that roundabout halfway through this piece changed, and it took another quarter of the piece for me to regain the rythym.

    perhaps you changed the way you were placing the lines partway through, made some sort of judgement, like i said, "the specifics elude me" but i definately felt it.

    anyhow.

    once again, spectacular, you definately captured the feel of an old folk tale. well done.

    i'll be adding this to my favorites, because it's earned a place among them.

    keep it up, please. :-P

    ~krg
    | Posted on 2007-07-16 00:00:00 | by Sheakhan | [ Reply to This ]


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