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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Fadeintoreality
    Elite Ratio:    1.95 - 33/114/64
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 954
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 880



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsProsedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The wind carries tiny
    white helicopters into my room.
    I see out my window:
    A little girl breathing
    wishes into weeds.

    Sometimes I even wish,
    but there's always one seed left.
    Planted in the center of that weed,

    or in the back of your mind.

    One time my mother told me
    in startling tear-shaken voice,

    "It n-never gets better."

    That feeling in the pit of my stomach returns to remind me that.

    We're older now,
    and getting wiser,

    but the past always looks better

    and we're burning for it,

    burning the sheets of the dirty deeds we all do

    these days.

    Watch our sins burst into flames and keep
    wishing it will all get better.




    Submitted on 2007-07-17 01:44:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      what ben is saying is true. everytime you read it, a different idea enters your imagination. a great write!

    Watch our sins burst into flames and keep
    wishing it will all get better.

    the ending is my favorite line
    keep it up!
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by damienelizabeth | [ Reply to This ]
      what ben is saying is true. everytime you read it, a different idea enters your imagination. a great write!

    Watch our sins burst into flames and keep
    wishing it will all get better.

    the ending is my favorite line
    keep it up!
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by damienelizabeth | [ Reply to This ]
      ooo i like this write. my favorite lines were:
    "but the past always looks better
    and we're burning for it,".
    like sometimes we wish we could go back in time, when we didn't have a care in the world. i dunno, that's what i got out of that. but yeah great poem.
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2007-07-17 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this piece 3 times and 3 times I got 3 different feelings. I truly like the haphazard metre and structure. It seems crafted.

    great read

    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2007-07-17 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]


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