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    dots Submission Name: my minddots

    Author: BloodtornAngel
    ASL Info:    21/F/inyour wildest dream
    Elite Ratio:    2.47 - 21/28/43
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1153
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 792


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy minddots

    As I cry with the solemn rain,
    I lift my head skyward and scream.
    Everybody says I need to be a big girl now,
    But nobodies telling me what i need.
    In my mind I can't let them fade,
    the ones who carved my heart of stone.
    In my soul I can hear their voices,
    yelling at me to let them go.
    They're the ones that destroyed me,
    and caused my bloody tears,
    them, the ones that caused this mess.
    So I ask them of what they know.
    Did they know that it would hurt this bad,
    that scars were left from each.
    Did they know that it would cause this pain,
    that my heart would slow and finally cease.
    Do they know what I'd give,
    oh god,
    to just have one of them back.

    Submitted on 2007-07-17 23:26:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      umm, i don't know, it was okay...it's just not my favorite writing style. i've got nothing against depressing writing, but when you're so blunt about it, it takes all my interest away, understand? it did have some good lines, but most of it seemed a little clichéd and it didn't really have one big 'hook' or anything. i do have to say that i liked the ending a lot, however. that is if you mean to say that you miss the people that hurt you. if you do, the whole thing should maybe be more focused around that point-solace. then again, for that point, maybe it is fine...i have know idea. not my favorite, good ending. keep trying.

    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by freddybuzzkill | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem reveals the sad truth of love. a good write, filled with emotions. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by damienelizabeth | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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