He Won by BCute

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: He Won dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	BCute
ASL Info:	23/F/MO
Elite Ratio:	3.79 - 1295/1417/363
Words:	121

Class/Type:	Poetry/Religious
Total Views:	181
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	931

Description:
Love you, God.

He Won

-------------------------------------------

Feet graze soil still crystalline with dew
shrouded heads bow in mourning
hands hold preparations to their chest
tears echo through the morning.

Flashes of light shown around,
"Women why are you weeping."
Our Savior died, was their reply.
"Your Lord Lives" was his.

Sprinting the last few yards
towards a hole in a rock
they entered to find it
empty as was prophisied.

Turning to leave to tell
the Good News, they hesitated.
For there He was,
their Risen King...

having stormed Hell's Gates

Death's gates

the world's gates

and won.

Submitted on 2007-07-18 11:51:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
youve done well here doll.

this is a beautiful piece and i really liked it.
you know... i read the first stanza but hadnt scrolled down enough to know there was more and was gonna storm the gates in protest that you cut the idea so short

imagine how insane it would be if you were those women... all beautifully adorned in mourning only to realise that what you mourned stood right before you... i mean... that wouldnt be a little too hard to take i think...
and even though i want to believe in prophecies coming to pass i always find myself more like Thomas than anyone else... "lord i believe... forgive my unbelief"

i cannot write god.
i love him and live my life for him but i cannot write him because all of my attempts are so lame and cliché and fall majorly short of what it is i want to say...

indeed he did win and that is something to be proclaimed. it cant have been a very easy fight for him and being human he could have copped out and told god he wasnt doing it... it must have taken so much courage and love to do what he did for us...

this is a beautiful piece girl and so dramatically different from that which i am used to reading from you that it makes me smile and feel so proud of you
| Posted on 2007-07-22 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
Excellent job with this write B Cute
I Liked the words used and the meassage is very true and strong
I hope you continue to write more religious themed writes
You seem to be very good at them
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

146886

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]