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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fiesty Tearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xSaraHx
    ASL Info:    17/Female/Earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.26 - 107/75/47
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 641
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 955



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFiesty Tearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A thousand tears she cried
    and for him she'd cry one more
    but that very night
    to his pure heart she swore
    I will cry for you
    If you will cry for me

    Tears of love and faith
    a push over the edge
    an expression of true feelings
    yeah, thats what I said
    But when its all over
    and I've cried for you
    Will you still be standing
    or were my tears you cue?

    mmm
    mmm
    mmm


    Into a sea of ecstacy and pleasure
    I will dive, yeah
    inside all our hearts
    will surely find
    alllllllll thoes unshed tears


    (2x)
    Tears of love and faith
    a push over the edge
    an expression of true feelings
    yeah, thats what I said
    But when its all over
    and I've cried for you
    Will you still be standing
    or were my tears you cue?




    Submitted on 2007-07-18 23:45:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      what's with the "mmm"s? they bother me so much. and then you start out with third person and all of a sudden switch to first person. it isn't cohesive and it just doesn't work. you need to provide tangible images to the reader, things the reader can feel, taste, smell, touch, see. otherwise it's just words about things we don't care about.
    | Posted on 2007-10-12 00:00:00 | by Passy | [ Reply to This ]
      A neat and nifty lyric... liked it a whole bunch... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-07-27 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


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