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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitled 2dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xSaraHx
    ASL Info:    16/Female/Earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 107/74/47
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 63
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 525



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitled 2dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I walked the streets of my town
    in my dreams last night
    Lets take a walk there
    and discontinue this fight
    I don't know bout you
    But the world has become quite cold
    anyone got a sweater?

    Thats not what I was told
    Their words hurt more than bullets
    with their philosophy
    I think I've got the answer
    Only heaven holds the key
    So when you come a'calling
    will I know just what to say
    Shall I live on or Decay




    Submitted on 2007-07-18 23:59:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i really liked this! the last line had a surprisingly appealing bite to it. you had some good imagery too, with the first line or so. the only thing is that i think the bit of humor about the sweater was a little forced so that it didn't quite fit in. and that maybe at parts there was a slightly better choice of words. but overall you made your point and a good piece of work at the same time.
    | Posted on 2007-08-10 00:00:00 | by freddybuzzkill | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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