i like this a lot too!!! it was really good and short...and sweet...in a wierd kinda way... anyway, it was really different, i liked how you switched from talking about people in general in one verse, then switched to a specific example in the second, it's like you proved your point or something. i sung-read it to like, wierd techno. you should totally make this an automic fifties song!
I love it, it was to the point raw and relatable. I like it the way it is but I guess you could make it longer, you could really take this somewhere. However, at the same time I think the shortness of it is what I like about it cuz its to the point. keep up the great work!!!!!!