Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Elergy of Hopedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kingsley
    Elite Ratio:    2.57 - 100/59/46
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1035
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1071



    Description:
       abortion should be stopped


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Elergy of Hopedots
    -------------------------------------------


    They never saw life we did
    They never felt the pain of being born
    they were helpless little seed
    that were denied the right of been grown

    They are the shining little stars
    that might have brought light to our lives
    they are little strokes of luck
    that would have saved many when disater struck

    They came but barley stayed
    they were created but not kept
    that is the reason the sky`s habit of tears stayed
    these tears vowed to keep coming till the end of the world

    I hope you eyes rain when you see their pain
    i know that then you will have something to say
    say it to lovey heart and listen your conciense
    if it is the truth you will see GOD`S presence

    I hope that their story will be
    told as a part of our history
    i hope that their story will be as dark part of your memory
    i hope that we all work hard to deprive the world of this tragedy
    the juice of denying life is not worth the squezee




    Submitted on 2007-07-19 08:14:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the idea of this. I got what you were talking about as soon as the poem started, so thats a good thing. Yet i felt that the beginning was lacking. U had good imagery but i felt that it could have been better. The middle was my favorite part (it was nicely worded)and while the last stanza was ok, the last line offered a totaly different image form the rest of the piece that it sort of ruined it.
    | Posted on 2007-07-21 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    146939

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    This written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry