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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hopefulldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 618
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1057



    Description:
       I love you, Dave.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHopefulldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Granted I am young
    I am young and native
    And I have a great life waiting for me

    And soon, this life I will be sharing with my beloved husband
    Possible soon after I'll be expected a baby girl or boy

    This life I intend on leading
    I long for it to be with this man I am engaged to, today.
    I hope to share apart of me I yet shared with another

    To have children of our own.
    To enjoy our lives as a whole
    To want... need one anotherís company

    I hope to have endless happiness with this man
    And our children

    I long to fulfill the dreams of a young child
    To help as many as I can
    To give, rather than receive

    I pray to the Lord above
    Before the day he takes me away
    I have given something of myself to another

    Please Lord, fulfill this prayer of mine
    Please give a part of me to another
    Allow me to rub some goodness to this world I live within




    Submitted on 2007-07-19 16:00:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am sorry that "Apple-Man" thinks that nothing really stuck out in this piece. But, since I don't believe that was your point, I guess it doesn't really matter. You have already rubbed off some goodness onto this world. You touch the life of everyone you meet. It's easy not to see the effect, but don't mistake that for not having any effect. We are all lucky to know you!
    | Posted on 2007-07-23 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]
      "I am young and native"
    is that supposed to be naive?
    sorry to say, but nothing about this really stuck out to me, it wasn't different from other things i've seen, but not everything is perfect. Hope you aren't discouraged
    | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by Apple-Man | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    146963

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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