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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 3 in a back seatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xaingua
    ASL Info:    16/Female/A quiet place
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 11/9/11
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1167
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1342



    Description:
       Ever wonder what would happen if you got stuck in the back seat of a small car, on the way home from a party, at night, with your crush, and his Identical twin brother?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots3 in a back seatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your brother is the funny one
    So I couldn't help but laugh
    When he starting singing horribly
    About some lovestruck sap

    I know you hate his carefree ways
    They counteract your own
    You turned to him in frustration
    when he hit an aweful tone.

    You looked at him with stubborn eyes
    The kind I live to see
    He looked at you through innocence
    And pointed around you and over to me

    "Well at least she laughed." The younger said
    And you spun a gaze towards me
    Your eyes searched for my smile in the dark
    I pretended not to see.

    Cramped within your sister's car.
    Your brother, you, and me
    I hope my giggle filled your heart
    with thoughts of what could be

    You are stern and sometimes hard
    But I know your soft inside
    That night the loveing gaze you gave
    Prevoked my love not to hide

    Your chocolate hair looked softer somehow
    your eyes seemed more aware
    Perhaps that long moment you soaked me in
    Was your way of saying you cared

    All the way you bickered like little boys
    but you leg rested agiainst mine
    Where you masking thoughts of us?
    Was I still on our mind?




    Submitted on 2007-07-20 13:52:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      good job. but its hard to get an idea of what is really going on at all. its slightly confusing to me. I think if it was a little longer and went thru a few more things a little more description that would help. its a good start I just think it mite need a little work. good luck and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by Sereto_Uesugi | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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