Description: I've had a kind of falling out with a .."friend".. of mine and he promised me that things will be different this time and this is just about how i feel on the matter... yep... comments welcome!! please!! :)
Prove Me Wrong -------------------------------------------
My life is changing
I’m rearranging
The way that I now live
I told you the truth
You promised to change
“This time will be different”
I don’t believe you
I can’t bear to
You’ve disappointed me to much
I relive the heart aches
Just to remember
That I can’t trust you again
Prove me wrong
I dare you
To prove me wrong
Keep your promises this time
And don’t leave me
With empty eyes again
You creped toward
The line of no return
Many, many times
This time you jumped
Off the cliff into
The empty abyss
One day
You will have to make a choice
And I in turn
Will have to decide what’s right
Can I go on hurting
Or for my own good will I end it
Prove me wrong
I dare you
To prove me wrong
Fight for me this time
Because I am done
Fighting for you
First of all Im sorry you had to make such a hard decision reguarding a friendship. I understand how difficult it can be to end a long lived friendship because you simply cannot keep doing something you dont believe in.
Reguarding the poem it's self I think it is a very nice piece, aside from some minor things like spelling and puncutation it has a good form.
I really liked the lines:
My Life is changing, Im rearranging,
AND
This time you jumped off the cliff of the Empty abyss,
Now I think that the Line ((Dont Leave me with empty eyes,)) should probaly be replaced, simply because It really doesnt seem to fit the poem. I dont know if you just used it because it rymed or what, dont get me wrong it's a gret line, I just think its out of place.
All in all I liked the peom. I enjoyed reading it and I hope to see more from you in the future.
Submission Name: Prove Me Wrong
