Mr. and Missing
Well, yeah, I waited. But what you said would happen didn’t happen, and I can’t wait all da…hold on, someone at the door.
Hello, I’m Detective Al Dente. We’re investigating a missing persons report…a lady in the building…
Uh, yes, an anonymous call…
Is it true when spouses disappear the…survivors are grilled like fish on a spit looking for inconsistencies in their stories?
Mr. Fitzhume, I’m…not certain where this line of questioning is going…and I do have some important questions to...
I’m an old man dying slowly…but not nobly…eaten up with every cancer known to man swimming like piranha through my system. I’ve got a pain like a knife in my hip and I’m limping, pissing poison and glass and little bits of myself. I’ve got all day to answer questions and all day to ask them. Now, why don’t you humor an old man who feels like hell?
Is it true the ‘big book of inane procedures’ always reminds the constituent officer to-more or less-subtly offer condolences to the bereaved and gather evidence against them in case all other leads dry up?
No sir, that’s not true at all…
And if they provoke the remaining spouse to anger or any other ‘unusual’ behavior that would be…I don’t know, typical?...under the circumstances, it’s like a footnote in the book on unoriginal thinking, you know the one. ‘a million and one ways to champion the obvious?’
I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave sir. But before I do, I feel I should point out that I think you…have us all wrong. We’re trying to find a missing individual, not make an arrest. You can’t possibly be insinuating we’d railroad someone into prison or be unfeeling to the survivors of a tragedy. I mean really…
Am I threatening to you officer?
Uh…no, Mr. Fitzhume, not in the least.
Would you like something to drink? Some tea?
No, sir not really…thank you.
Have a glass anyway.
If you insist…
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that sir. What was her name?
That’s odd…my wife’s name is Wanda. When did she die?
In about an hour.
Have you noticed the tea has the flavor of nutmeg? So warm and so soothing…