This is so wonderfully there! I feel another coffee house, more beat poetry from the shadows of reality
" i love my life
like i love a frozen morning without a blanket
spent digging into my mattress
searching for warmth"
this is my favorite part, so very expressive of your thoughts, without overdoing it on pretty words that are empty of feeling
this is nice, and witty
i am beginning to really enjoy the way you write, i keep thinking, oh no, but then hey!
something will grab me, and I am there, bobbing my head along to the gently melodic voice that rasps quietly through my mind
i love my life.
i used to say that about my job when i was in the rest home. i really did love my job for the most part but when i had 6 bells ringing and all of them were regarded as crisis by those ringing them and 'i love my job' would be the line of the minute. so sarcastic. but easily understandable.
mornings without blankets.
somehow thats what my life has been lately.
i just watched dead poets society for the second time this week [the first time i watched it alone... today it was my mothers choice when i had her over for dinner] and one of my two favourite scenes is at the front of the classroom where the teacher drives that boy mad and he blurts out that poem about truth like a blanket that doesnt cover our feet... thats what this reminds me of though no blanket at all seems rather mean...
theres something lacking in this piece.
my experience of your writing is that you usually have very good reason for what you write and how you write it but i cannot find anything in this piece that gives it any kind of feeling at all.
i am not even sure what you are trying to say over all... i mean... the reality is youre human but you dont give me much indication as to what that means to you.
the hope at the end kinda threw me too... are you human because you hope and without hope there is nothing...?
i dont know... i think the gaps between the lines are too big and the meaning slips through...