[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: VICE [edited]dots

    Author: brokensmile
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 241/326/148
    Words: 336
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 801
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2092


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVICE [edited]dots


    I never knew so many words
    could be uncovered from the corners
    of a dark mind in waiting
    How easily one could creep
    In the shadows
    And crouch behind cautioned silence
    Listening while others breathed sins
    Barley braving the stairs
    as theirs conceale yours

    You said it was a chemical thing
    Something that bit of your happiness
    And swallowed it in chunks
    scrapeing down good health
    For bleeding holes
    As the media portrays perfection
    In its starving form
    Vanity belongs to the bullimic
    She leaves behind the acidy buildup
    around the toilet seats of society

    Money and manipulation
    You are the master of spending the first
    And dealing the second
    With a phone call you could convince me
    That life is what the dead carried on their backs
    until they let it crush them
    A moment for dramatics
    Click and your gone

    Jesus God and Angels
    Desperation sits at the bottom of our stomaches
    probing us with desires
    that make us hang our heads in shame
    We lie for a place in heaven
    Some of us physically lying in the gutters, wet with disillusionment
    A screaming slur of delirious pleas
    Save me save me save me.

    But there they remain
    In dirty streets and those places that sleep
    cradled at back of your mind
    They move such as
    those animated pictures
    Projected against a screen
    In the darkness of a movie theater
    In the dark
    In the light
    Against the insides of your eyelids
    Shut tight
    It dosen't matter anymore
    Their ghosts are alive
    and That's what scares you the most
    They live and they breath
    And the movie never stops.


    Submitted on 2007-07-24 20:31:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Sometimes I feel "socially imposed" , or so to speak. It's really disconcerting but I think a lot of people feel the same way. This is very powerful and just very well written, capturing the hardship of being a part of the society, of being on the streets. It shows the hypocrisy. You form your lines well, combine your words excellently.
    I think I understood it, but id I didn't, please be sure to let me know. Thank you.


    | Posted on 2007-07-25 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This is a nice poem. I like the language used it reminds me of some old poems I've read. Good job!
    | Posted on 2007-07-25 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    I am a sorry son. written by MyPeriodical
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Leyenda de Un Maldito Cobarde written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    HeroĆ­na written by MyPeriodical
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Two hundred and seven times written by MyPeriodical




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]