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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: wishes never come true. (but what about dreams?)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: black rose13
    ASL Info:    16/f/where do I live?
    Elite Ratio:    1.35 - 137/97/39
    Words: 271
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1724



    Description:
       something i think that was buliding up inside of me that i needed to get out


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswishes never come true. (but what about dreams?)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wishes are just hopes that turn into disappointments.
    Dreams are just a pigment of something that you think can never happen.
    And promises are just something waiting to be broken.

    One: Her wish was to feel love for someone who would love back.
    But while she loved and he abused.
    She always wondered " is this how love really feels?"

    Wishes are just hopes that turn into disappointments.
    Dreams are just a pigment of something that you think can never happen.
    And promises are just something waiting to be broken.

    Two: She believes her dreams are premonitions of what is to come.
    But that all changes when her dreams seem to become fantasy.

    Wishes are just hopes that turn into disappointments.
    Dreams are just a pigment of something that you think can never happen.
    And promises are just something waiting to be broken.

    Three: He promised her that he would never hurt her.
    But the bruises on her body tell a different story.
    (thanks for keeping your promise)

    Wishes are just hopes that turn into dissappointments.
    Dreams are just a pigment of something that you think can never happen.
    And promises are just something waiting to be broken.

    How is it that dreams that seem like fantasy come true?
    We will never know but.....
    somehow after all that she has been through someone is willing to be that person to try and mend her heart.

    Wishes are just hopes that turn into disappointments.
    Promises are just something waiting to be broken.
    And dreams will always come true.




    Submitted on 2007-07-24 23:37:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      In the second line (and recurring) do you mean pigment or figment? I wasn't sure if it was a typo or not.

    An interesting style you choose here. I'm not sure what I think to this use of refrain. Personally I don't but I think there's merit in it when you have a point to drive across. I think it could do with being a little more subtle though, maybe different every time but following patterns (kind of what you do at the end when you basically invert the statement)

    *goes to top and reads that they are lyrics*

    Makes more sense now I always forget to check that...

    It's really difficult to comment on lyrics when you only have the words and no sound. They really rely on the music to truly feel what they are about and appreciate them.

    I think the detached story-with-message style works well for the subject here. It makes things pretty ambiguous as to whether the writer/singer really is detached from it all or if it is actually very personal.
    | Posted on 2008-02-17 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]
      okayy i just one thing to say

    and that is


    its going on my favorites!!
    | Posted on 2007-08-20 00:00:00 | by truthbetold | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I Like It Alot
    Idk What Else To Say
    Love Stacey
    | Posted on 2007-07-25 00:00:00 | by AngelinDisguise | [ Reply to This ]


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