Memories Of Hate by EyesOfMight

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Submission Name: Memories Of Hate dots

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Author:	EyesOfMight
ASL Info:	17/F
Elite Ratio:	3.44 - 11/14/16
Words:	226

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	192
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1424

Description:
This is about a past relationship of mine that went really bad. ... thats all i can really say about this one.... some boys are awful people while others are amazing...

Memories Of Hate dots

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sleepless nights and screaming voices
memories haunt my ever step
do you know what its like to be afraid of dreams
how could I let this happen

heat, passion, rushing through my mind
deep reds turn slowly into blacks
passion turns to lust
where else can we go

Hate, want, silent voices
silent screams
lust takes him over
no longer an innocent kiss

racing mind, racing hands
dizzy thoughts
the room spins into a nightmare
I cant speak

floating above the chaos
screaming for something to happen
someone to interrupt
her get the courage to speak

Stomachs turn, hearts explode
pain is all that's felt
there's got to be more to this life
than ever ending using

my head spins into a empty world
I cant think, I cant understand
how could this happen to me
what do I do now

late that night I bring my knees to my chest
eyes wide open, scared, tears flow out without me even knowing
I slowly rock back and forth
with my bible held closely to my heart

sleepless nights and screaming voices
memories haunt my ever step
do you know what its like to be afraid of dreams
how could I let this happen

Submitted on 2007-07-25 02:05:42 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I like this poem; you conjure up an image which instantly grips the reader’s attention from the first verse all the way through.

I’m slightly confused about the meaning though, I read it through twice and I got one impression from it. Was this poem about rape? If so then I hope it’s not based on a true experience.

These are the stanza’s that lead me to the conclusion that this poem may be about rape more than anything, but of course I could be wrong.

“Hate, want, silent voices
silent screams
lust takes him over
no longer an innocent kiss”

“racing mind, racing hands
dizzy thoughts
the room spins into a nightmare
I cant speak”

”floating above the chaos
screaming for something to happen
someone to interrupt
her get the courage to speak”

I agree with someone’s epiphany, repeating the first stanza in the middle of the poem kind of spoils it a little bit; it doesn’t quite fit in there.

The repetition of it at the end has a nice feel to it though, it gives the impression of a memory you can’t escape from, it keeps coming back to haunt you.

I like the idea of four line stanza’s, even though it does give the impression of restriction I think it ties in really well with the poem, it kind of works along the line of having a limited or restricted amounts of thoughts before the memory comes flooding back to haunt you.

Nice job
Take care,

*~xXxLinzixXx~*

| Posted on 2007-07-25 00:00:00 | by Linzi | [ Reply to This ]
  grrrr... i commented on this one and then got signed out and lost it.

righty. lemme restart.
i have a coupla responses to this piece.
im gonna focus on the writing of this piece and then on the content so try to hear me through

i dont know whether the repetition of your first stanza in the middle of your piece is very effective. i dont think it contributes to this piece.

also i dont think that 4 line stanzas are the key. they seem to be some kind of magic formula one size fits all deal on this site right but thats not the case. it is not always an effective means/vehicle of presentation.
i think you could take your idea and present it a whole lot better. right now you are restricted by number of lines and ideas and such.

okay... now for the content.
while i am not 100% clear i think that this piece is about someone who had sex with their boyfriend. i am not clear as to whether it was consented... whether they couldnt work out how to say no... whether it was rape.
i take this a step further by believing that the girl was a christian and therefore brought up with the ideal that sex before marriage is a HUGE sin and that she has now disappointed god, her parents, the world as well as defiling herself...

now if that assessment is anywhere near true and if it is based on actual events i have a thing or two to say. [and if it isnt true or based on events then completely ignore me]

if you are a christian and you have written this from a sexual encounter that has left you confused and feeling bad...

did you know that no sin is any bigger than another? in gods eyes its all the same. did you know that just thinking about having sex with someone is the same as doing it in gods eyes...?
and we all screw up. we all sin. and when hormones and emotions and all that jazz is involved its hard.
add to it the condemnation we place on ourselves and the devil lays on real thick and the guilt... what would happen if mum found out? i cant pray to god now because i am tainted and ruined or whatever...

exactly how many sins had you committed as jesus hung on that cross...?

none.

take care of yourself.
stay beautiful.
forgive yourself.
if you wanna talk about any of this PM me any time...
| Posted on 2007-07-25 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  Vibrant somehow... filled with a deep passion, and really good choices in the chromatics (red and black).

"do you know how it is to be afraid of dreams" - this line has really a great aesthetical impact on me, it's like a sad bird flying through gray rain drops towards a 'cold tomorrow'.

| Posted on 2007-07-25 00:00:00 | by -Lith-Ium- | [ Reply to This ]

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