I know the feeling of wanting needing your father, and him not being there. If you get the chance and felt like it I re-posted From a Child Unworthy. I wrote this to my dad. And I actually sent it to him.
His response was to critique it line by line in some places and turn it around saying this and this and this are proof that you knew you betrayed me and you were wrong I did nothing and so on and so on.,
I hadn't talked to my father for any reason what so ever for nine years, until a year ago august 2. I allowed my brother to give him my email a year ago february and I waited and I waited., Finally on my birthday I received a brief but nice email. So I hoped. The next email still has yet to be answered by me because I'm so pissed off and hurt I can't do it and do it right,.
Father's all too often screw up, most time most of them realize it but there are others who missed that day in how to be school , and we pay the price for it.
Have you given him this? You should. You deserve to be heard and he should hear the truth of what being unavailable cost!