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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tell me.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1012
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3331



    Description:
       To tell the truth. I don't know. I really don't know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTell me.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Is there really
    more to life?
    Have you heard—
         that this is so?

    Tell me,
         tell me,
              please, tell me
              what you know.

    I hear
    we are Designed—
         for something more.

    Designed.
         Is there really

              Truth

                   in such a word.

    What else
    is there?

         Here.

              What more?

    Tell me,
         tell me,
              damn it, tell me
              what you know.

    My soul.
    Is Dying.

         Why?

              Because of:

    Lonliness—
         it consumes.
    Fear—
         it constricts.
    Depression—
         it,
              it
              hurts.

    Because
    I feel broken.

         Unwhole.

              Because part of me
                   is missing.

    Because I can’t
         find it.

    I just can’t
         find home.

    Tell me,
         tell me,
              DAMN it tell me!
              Tell me what you know!

    What is there!

         Here.

              What is there?

    I’m so Alone,
    yet silent
         shall you stay?

    Shall silence eat
         me away as well?

    Do you want me

         Insane

              as well?

    Tell me.
         Tell me.
              Fucking tell me
              what you know.

         Truth.

              Tell me.




    Submitted on 2007-07-29 00:23:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i've never read anything like this,, i absolutly love it, its very powerful and moving and i just want to keep reading it over and over again
    | Posted on 2007-07-30 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      Well what can I say, I just really understand that feeling. There just must be more to life than THIS, right? Like the previous comments said, I like the style as well. It just reflects very well the way your thoughts seem to boil in that moment. Great job!
    | Posted on 2007-07-29 00:00:00 | by silverfragment | [ Reply to This ]
      the style of this is verry unique and interesting, it made it a verry different read. I loved this piece. it was well written and I could relate to it so well. It was like being inside someones head and almost like strugling with yourself . . . at least that's what I took away. IT's written like talking to someone else but still, I guess that's just my way of viewing it. EIther way, it is well writtin and the flow is great. I love this. Great piece, keep writing.


    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-07-29 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the style of this piece. Your words come off
    very powerful in the way it's written. It seems to me that you are screaming out for answers for (God) or
    someone that you fill is holding back the truth from you.
    love and peace,
    lynn
    | Posted on 2007-07-29 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    147354

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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