[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: a perfect love unwounddots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1227


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa perfect love unwounddots

    jupiter's going away.
    & with still, steeple hands
    i brush aside the sky.

    there are no new futures
    for me to see there.

    live dye-cast into fuchsine
    with the superlative down fingers
    that you keep around your throat.

    death is only as romantic as you make it
    & your daily suicides of the heart
    are a given;

    splendid and mossed in timeless frenzy,
    i shift my planetary movemnts
    to avert your eyes.
    the ones as black as my bird.

    the unstoppable fantasy
    of that phonecall
    that you can't seem to make,
    blisses on my tongue
    all the inside, russian responses,
    short and full of volumes,
    that i release into your perfect
    smaller ear.

    believe in me when you're dreaming,
    & my purposeful laurels
    willl crowd around your neck
    like the necklace that you never where.

    i am still the moon
    hung over your head
    for the instant that you were capable
    of a perfect love unwound
    & bound for nothing
    but endless longing
    from afar...

    Submitted on 2007-07-29 06:31:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very good. I found it to be a refreshing start away from the rest of the other poems who feel like they repeat themselves at every single sentence.

    Kind of gets annoying after awhile though

    But my favorite line had to be

    believe in me when you're dreaming,
    & my purposeful laurels
    will crowd around your neck
    like the necklace that you never where.

    At first, I will admit it confused me.

    But once I got a close grasp at it, I was impressed.

    Good work.
    | Posted on 2007-08-06 00:00:00 | by darkmoonchild | [ Reply to This ]

    Heyy birdy WSUP! hope all is good with you my talented poetic friend

    this piece was amazing..i loved every bit of it..the picture is bright

    starts beautiful and ends beautiful

    "death is only as romantic as you make it
    & your daily suicides of the heart
    are a given;"

    you might just wana correct your spelling (not a big deal)
    "like the necklace that you never where"= wear

    | Posted on 2007-08-04 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the living moment written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fasade written by jackz
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]