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    dots Submission Name: Every Rosedots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 270

       somthing i wrote just simple and quick and straight to the point

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEvery Rosedots

    With every rose,
    There a box of chocolate.

    With every box of chocolate,
    There a kiss.

    With every kiss,
    There a breath thatís taken away.

    I have one question,
    Will you take my breath away?

    Submitted on 2007-07-31 16:22:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wanted to say outloud..."there's a "

    in all the stanzas''but the stairstep style builds the momentum in this simple yet very readable piece...

    and in every box of chocolate there is a rose to give us a hershey kiss.

    | Posted on 2011-04-09 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i try. :)
    | Posted on 2007-08-16 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      aw, thats rather cute- something any girl would like so see in lil purdey italics writing on a fancy card tied with a ribbon to a rose and a box of chocs. or maybe im just sentimental with a craving for chocolate hehe. good write man, good work.

    luck n love
    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]
      Very cute.
    This is the type of poem I'd
    give to someone on valentines day.


    | Posted on 2007-08-12 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a good piece....i would try to change the ending a bit....
    very straight forward...

    | Posted on 2007-08-08 00:00:00 | by IsabellaAurora | [ Reply to This ]
      Your ending is not what I would call subtle.
    but i get the point. It almost sound like an ultimatum. You may want to try being a little more descriptive. I have a poem called *The Perfect Rose* I am not taking anything away from your list poem, but maybe reading my poem may give you another way to say what you wanna say.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2007-07-31 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]

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