Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Give A Quarter If You Willdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AlmostEloquent
    ASL Info:    20/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 46/70/37
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 187
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGive A Quarter If You Willdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am drained,
    no more can I say.
    I’m like a lemon squeezed, for the sake of lemonade,
    sold for 25 cents by the little girls on the corner.
    I’m the last drop of milk,
    drunk from the carton, and a satisfied wipe
    across the lip with the back of the hand.
    I’ve been wrung out,
    soapy water gushing from a towel,
    letting all my emotions
    fly into the sink, down the drain.
    Nothing more that bathtub water swirling, emptying itself,
    flowing to the ocean.
    That’s where you’ll find me now,
    floating on the waves.
    I’m the foam,
    so white and pure,
    made of nothing.
    Come find me,
    if you can,
    out there on the green waters.




    Submitted on 2007-07-31 17:12:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Looking for someone, I suppose. The title and the last few lines of the poem really illustrate a longing for someone to come along and make it all worth it... even if it only takes quarter. The rest is all very hopeless, but a hopelessness with a sense of patience - a rare thing to be the topic of verse. If there's only one thing worth mentioning about this piece, (and obviously there isn't) it's the originality of the emotions expressed therein. Trust me, that's a big deal these days. Really nice piece.

    -Lance
    | Posted on 2007-08-01 00:00:00 | by giventofly | [ Reply to This ]
      Ya know...I havent read a somewhat depressing write that was at the same time somewhat inspired with hope and happiness at the same time in quite a while.

    You put the whole, "I'm a rough diamond" thing in a neatly jumbled package that was quite a joy to read. Very good job on that part.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-07-31 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, sounds as though life has wrung you out pretty tightly and left you little breathing room to see any foreseeable future. Your words combine to paint a hopeless picture but they are very descriptive, in and of themselves. May your trip to the green of the ocean be smmoth and virtually uneventful if you have determined this to be your only fate.
    | Posted on 2007-07-31 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.