I am eighteen. I work in the back of a thrift store, the miscellaneous girl...and I have unprotected sex, or did, I have halted. Well first I went to the doctor to have an ultra sound done to see why I was in so much pain in my abdomen, ovary, bladder area. I go in, lay in a room that is extremely cold, though odly cozy despite the fact that my only privacy is allowed by a single curtain, and darkness save a small glow at the ceiling which is suppose to be a bulb, but in no more than a little hint at any existing photons. The lady that gets to give me my ultra sound was apparelntly not informed that I was there for abdominal pain, because first of all she pushes way to hard and puts way to much pressure on my aching tummy for anything resembling comfort. So I lay there, perfectly calm other than the fact that I am in a considerable amount of pain, there is way to much air conditioning in the hospital, and my shirt if pulled up to the bottom of my bra. Then she asks me, " Are you pregnant?"
Oh shit. Is there something on there that looks that way?
But I won't go into detail about how goddamn nervous I was, and I had to wait a full hour for the possibility to really sink in before they told me to go to xrays, which meant that I wasn't pregnant. Whoosh.
But my ex boyfriend is having a baby. And I don't know anything about his feelings, but I know that we have way to much in common, so much that I didn't trust him to be my boyfriend because I knew that he, like myself was to easily overcome by temptation, and I review this and I know that he probably isn't that exciteted. Or maybe he is, maybe I'm just bitter about him. Not that if I had the chance now I would have him, not that if given the oppurtunity to switch places I would. Because I am certain that I have settled, not into someone or something, but into me. I wouldn't want a baby, everyone that I work with is my age, and pregnant. Yikes. No. There are seven girls that I work with and they are all having a baby, some of them by chioce.
I feel like I child.