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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Aestasdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AlmostEloquent
    ASL Info:    20/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 43/59/34
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 159
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1002



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAestasdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sticky crayons melt rainbows on the splintered deck
    as paper crowns circle our heads.
    So sophisticatedly we sipped
    red, blue, green
    Kool-Aid with lazy bees
    buzz buzz buzzing
    round.
    Grass-bitten toes dangle,
    swinging free on a breeze
    as we spoke in our
    gently tumbling summer tongues.
    We squinted against bursting sunbeams
    and harsh forget-me-not skies.
    Fattened paws grasped at elusive clouds,
    childish laughs peppering the air.
    Tireless,
    fumbling
    legs charge forward
    hitting walls of breeze,
    sweetly enfolding,
    cradling our small bodies.
    Band-aid knees bent,
    pumping wooden swings to racing
    towards the sky just to
    drop
    back humbly to kiss the ground.

    A spot in time, dog-eared,
    folded and refolded,
    from visit after visit.
    Hot dixie summers enveloped
    in child memories.




    Submitted on 2007-07-31 23:31:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'd have to agree with the others on this piece. It was very straight forward and everyone could relate to it in one way or anther.

    I think I personally enjoyed the first couple of lines,

    "Sticky crayons melt rainbows on the splintered deck
    as paper crowns circle our heads.
    So sophisticatedly we sipped
    red, blue, green
    Kool-Aid with lazy bees
    buzz buzz buzzing
    round. "


    You described children at their best, doing what they do best. Super super write, I think this calls for a favorite. <3
    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]
      the best thing I've read on this site in days, maybe weeks. so easy. instant pictures developed in my mind, I can taste the Kool-Aid, I can see the fat bumblebees bumbling and the kids with summer time scrapes bandaged. this is quite perfect no doubt and a fave fo sho. Beautiful.
    thanks
    Milo
    | Posted on 2007-08-02 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
      This is probably the best thing that could ever come from a piece so simple and open. No thematic underlayers, no research-worthy allusions to biblical doctrine or greek mythology... just some fondly held memories expressed in a supremely vivid and imaginative way. That's all it is and that's all it needs to be. It's actually very refreshing. Nice work.

    -Lance
    | Posted on 2007-08-01 00:00:00 | by giventofly | [ Reply to This ]



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