Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Toxic Kissdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PrettyHeart
    ASL Info:    39
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 62/55/53
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 414
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 720



    Description:
       I don't know where this came from. I was thinking something totally diffrent when I started to write it. And as I sat and thought of the person I wrote it for this is what came out. I think it is a little weak in places so any suggestion would help


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToxic Kissdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Toxic Kiss

    Lust trickles from your velvet lips.
    Leaving scarlet drops upon mine.
    Teasing me with hints of your wine.
    Greedy now for a few ample sips.

    Probing your velvet lips tenderly.
    My eager passion discovers more.
    Desires inside of me begin to soar.
    Expecting you to love me eagerly.

    Just when my desire raged for more.
    Your luscious wine ceased to flow.
    Bitterness within you began to grow.
    Creating in me feelings of a whore.

    Resent trickles from your toxin lips.
    Leaving venomous drops upon mine.
    Killing me is the toxins of your wine.
    Fading now from one to many sips.




    Submitted on 2007-08-02 09:35:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    147551

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dream written by closetpoet
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Live In Between written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry