Description: Any feedback is nice. I should note that the lack of punctuation and capitalization is part of the style I'm using, and isn't a mistake.
#1 -------------------------------------------
ships sail past pleasant land
but water they know
they can stand
so never changing path
or cause
ships never
recognize their loss
in bees round flowers dancing
and rainbow colored creatures prancing
only floating boring songs
keep on keep on
trees life death dirt
sing beauty
but to sailors out of tune
keep on keep on
only floating boring songs
I think overall this was very good. It was pleasant to read, and it had good visuals and all of that. I think, though, you should really add punctuation and capitalization. It helps readers get through it more easily, and it really just makes you look smarter.
"trees life death dirt"
something is wrong with that line. I'm not sure exactly what, but it's probably the lack of commas that's throwing me off.
Submission Name: #1
