Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Backporch Birthday Cakedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: emo-tastic
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 571/566/128
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1045
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBackporch Birthday Cakedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am shorn,
    cut down to my skin
    and waiting for an incision.
    Open blankets cover
    our separate bodies

    still sticky sweet
    from backporch birthday cake.
    Our noses
    (six inches distance).

    I countdown from twenty
    (and your eyes are stil closed)
    considering shattering our
    blade-wall of intimacy.

    I am counting down,
    hugging the edge
    no cuts.
    I keep myself whole.




    Submitted on 2007-08-03 10:33:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this one...I have no idea why or what to say about it...all I can say it was alot different then anything I have heard...I mean backporch birthday cake? what exactly is that? I don't know I just liked it alot and thats really all I can say
    | Posted on 2007-08-03 00:00:00 | by Hazel eyes Jess | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    147595

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry